No More Mr Nice Guy Summary 2023 - Deepstash

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No More Mr Nice Guy Summary

About No More Mr Nice Guy Book

Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

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No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover


Nice guys believe that if they are good and do everything right, they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life.

This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.).


2. Behaviors of Nice Guy:

  • caretaking
  • giving to get
  • keeping the peace
  • avoiding conflict
  • seeking approval
  • hiding mistakes


3. Attributes of an Integrated Man:

  • He has a strong sense of self. He likes himself just as he is.
  • He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.
  • He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality.
  • He has integrity. He does what is right, not what is expedient.
  • He is a leader. He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about.
  • He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings.
  • He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.
  • He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.
  • An integrated male doesn’t strive to be perfect or gain the approval of others.


These are a few traits that make you miserable because after a certain point people will start taking advantage of you and at that moment you'll have to draw a line and prioritize yourself over everyone else.

The Nice Guy Syndrome

The Nice Guy Syndrome

  • The is a new race of males called Nice Guys.
  • Nice guys finish last
  • Seeks approval of others
  • Only cares about others by compromising themselves.

Myth: Nice guys always try to make others happy, then they will be happy and problem-free.

But when this strategy doesn't work they become frustrated and disappointed. 



Nice guys are anything but nice.



Stop Tracking Your Good Deeds

Stop Tracking Your Good Deeds

Nice guys track all the help they did.

Psychologically they subconsciously expect the same effort in return as they did.

High-value people don't expect in return.


Self Care

Taking Good Care of the Self Helps Nice Guys Learn To Approve Of Themselves.


• Exercise, work out, go for a walk.

• Eat healthy food.

• Get enough sleep.

• Relax, play, goof off.

• Get a massage.

• Go out with buddies.

• Buy a new pair of shoes.

• Get shoes polished.

• Get dental work done.

• Get a physical.

• Listen to music.


Affirming Self

Helps Nice Guys Learn To Approve Of Themselves.

Positive affirmations can help change the Nice Guy's core belief about himself. Affirmations replace old, inaccurate messages about the Nice Guy's worth with new, more realistic ones.


Spending Time Alone

When alone, Nice Guys can discover who they are and what they like about themselves, do what they want without having to please or compromise and face their number one fear —loneliness and isolation.

Plan a weekend trip to the mountains or beach. If possible, plan a vacation or retreat for a week or longer by yourself to a place where no one knows you. Visit a foreign country by yourself if at all possible.


How to not finish last being nice guy

How to not finish last being nice guy

  • Identifying and prevent approval-seeking behavior.
  • Don't appear needless and wantless, otherwise your needs will not be met. Make your needs a priority.
  • The absence of any discernible life energy in Nice Guys, is the reason that there's little to be attracted to.
  • “Connecting With Men Helps Nice Guys Reclaim Their Masculinity.”  Build meaningful relationships with men.
  • Face your fears. Develop integrity and honesty. Set boundaries.
  • Deal with problems directly.


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