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5 Strategies Resilient People Use to Overcome Rejection (No Matter How Much it Stings)
Treat yourself with compassion
Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend.
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Acknowledging Emotions
Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself—or someone else—it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.
Admit when you're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. Be confident in your ability to cope with discomfort in a healthy manner.
Rejection and pushing limits
If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone.
You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.
Don't let rejection define you
Keep rejection in proper perspective.
One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don’t let your self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn’t mean it’s true.
Learn from rejection
Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.
Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher.
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Key Ideas
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Mentally strong people admit when they're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, ...
Rejection And Pushing Limits
For mentally strong people, rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they're not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.
If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone.
Treat Yourself With Compassion
Rather than think, "You're so stupid for thinking you could do that," mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion.
They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.
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Don't become sensitive to rejection
We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the ...
Rejection hurts
Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.
Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.
Identifying the hardest-hit
People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.
Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.
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Schadenfreude
It's the experience of feeling of joy in other's harm, the pleasure of witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.
The 3 forms of schadenfreude
- Aggression-based schadenfreude: when members of a group experience schadenfreude at the misfortunes of those outside their group;
- Rivalry-based schadenfreude: driven by social comparison;
- Justice-based schadenfreude: the feeling that one experiences when somebody finally gets what's coming to them