Don’t make judgments

When you move on to expressing your concerns, watch your language carefully to avoid any “judgment words” such as “short-sighted,” “foolish,” or “hasty” that might set off your counterpart; one of his tips is to cut out all adjectives, since “the...

Do:

• Explain that you have a different opinion and ask if you can voice it.
• Restate the original point of view or decision so it’s clear you understand it.
• Speak slowly — talking in an even tone calms you and the other person down.

Don’t:

• Strive for excellence, not perfection.
• Focus on the process, not the outcome.
• Live in the present and give your best in every moment.
• Avoid self-judgment and regret; your best changes from moment to moment.
• Don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself....