Non-Assertive Communication - Deepstash
Non-Assertive Communication

Non-Assertive Communication

People often confuse aggression with assertiveness, but they are very different. In aggressive communication, you are placing your own rights and needs above the rights and needs of others. Aggressive communication does the following:

  • Forces your opinions on others
  • Does not allow compromises
  • Damages relationships

Passive communication is when you place the rights and needs of others above your own. Passive communication does the following:

  • Allows for someone to be bullied or ignored
  • Leads to low self-esteem 

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MORE IDEAS FROM How to Practice Assertive Communication - The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Southern California

Assertive Communication Guide
  • State your point of view in a clear and direct manner
  • Avoid exaggerating. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” Try saying, “You are 20 minutes late for the third time this week.”
  • Discuss facts rather than making judgments. For example, instead of saying, “You’re trying to get out of doing the group assignment!” Try saying, “Your portion of the assignment needs to be one page longer.”
  • Use “I statements” that communicate your feelings without being accusatory. instead of saying, “You’re such a slob!” Try saying “I feel frustrated when you leave your clothes on the floor.” 

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How to Practice Assertive Communication

In life, there are often times when you need to have uncomfortable conversations. Assertively communicating in a way that is clear and direct is one of the most effective ways of minimizing conflict, preventing misunderstandings, and creating a positive environment. When you practice assertive communication, you are giving equal respect to the rights and needs of yourself and others. 

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Passive Communicators

Passive communicators go along with the other person’s ideas, narratives and suggestions. They avoid conflicts and confrontations. They appear anxious, afraid of disapproval and are often having poor eye contact or posture.

In a relationship, these people bottle up their emotions and do what their partner plans or does. It is a ‘doom scenario’ if both partners are passive.

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Communication during stressful times

Uncertainty has a way to reveal everyone's strengths and weaknesses. During drastic uncertainty, employees will seek more information in order to achieve a sense of certainty. During this unstable time, you'll discover the true quality of your team's communication skills. If you team is arguing, productivity is lagging.

Discovering each member's communication preferences will enable you to determine the best way forward.

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What Makes a Relationship Healthy?

Healthy relationships don’t look the same for everyone since people have different needs. Our specific needs around communication, sex, affection, space, shared hobbies or values, and so on may change throughout life.

So, a relationship that works in our 20s may be nothing like the relationship we want in our 30s.

In short, “healthy relationship” is a broad term because what makes a relationship thrive depends on the needs of the people in it.

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