Possibility vs. necessity

Possibility vs. necessity
  • People motivated by possibility make choices based on what they want to do and are hopeful about pursuing the unknown. 
  • Those who make decisions based on necessity do things because they feel they have to. People who are driven by acts out of a feeling of necessity are trustworthy and can be predictable. 
Both types of people have their virtues, but in order to get your message across to either one, it helps to identify who is who.
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Communication

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It doesn’t mean you speak the loudest or most often, but rather that  you are getting your message across clearly and also taking in the messages you’re receiving from the people around you.

Moving toward or away

Observe if those you’re speaking to are moving toward or away, by asking what that person wants.

If they start listing things they don’t want (they don’t want to fail, they don’t want to be stuck in the same dead-end job) or talking about what they do want  (a family, to succeed at their job) then you’ll know how to direct the conversation.

Internal and external frames of reference
  • When trying to communicate effectively with someone who has an internal frame of reference, appeal to the things they know about themselves. Tie your communication to a personal fact you already know about that person.
  • Those with an external frame of reference want to hear more about what their peers thought about a given program or decision.
How people sort themselves
We all sort ourselves in two distinct ways: We either self-sort or sort by thinking about others.
  • Self-sorters look at an interaction or decision and think, “What’s in it for me?” 
  • Someone who sorts by thinking of others responds to questions by wondering how it will affect those around them.
Matching or mismatching

If you’re looking to be persuasive with someone, you want to see things through their eyes and communicate in a way they can relate to.

  • Matchers look for sameness in the world, trying to understand how things relate to each other. 
  • Mismatchers see how things are different

Convincing people

Part of establishing trust, or being able to convince someone, is sensing the different needs of different people. 

  • If you’re trying to sell someone a product, and they trust you immediately, you know you’re going to be able to do your job. 
  • If you sense you’re with someone who needs more convincing, see if there’s a tool you can use to help develop a bond with your potential customer.

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...say they’re uncomfortable communicating with employees. 

And that number is significantly higher when the roles are reversed.

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Communication during stressful times

Uncertainty has a way to reveal everyone's strengths and weaknesses. During drastic uncertainty, employees will seek more information in order to achieve a sense of certainty. During this unstable time, you'll discover the true quality of your team's communication skills. If you team is arguing, productivity is lagging.

Discovering each member's communication preferences will enable you to determine the best way forward.

Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call.

Cutting the ties for good when it’s over puts you on a faster path to healing.

  • Set up an “Emergency Contact List” that contains all your BFFs’ phone number, when you are tempted to call your Ex, call and talk to your friends instead.
  • Pick an activity that you can do to replace the desire of texting/calling/stalking your ex.

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