"They Will Eventually Come Around"

We have a tendency to respond to disconnection by gripping tighter, even when we see that our behavior isn’t yielding our desired outcome. But there is a difference between trying harder and self-degradation. And no amount of self-degradation will provoke the true feeling of love in another person. 

Modern love and desire are about free will. We can’t make people love us. We can invite the love of another. We can behave in ways that invite people to appreciate us, to realize the beauty of what we share, and to let the feeling of love grow inside from a glimmer to a flame. If the person we like isn’t interested, we have to let them lose us. 

Dating to find “The One” is extremely limiting—and often leads to major disappointment. There is never going to be one perfect person whose love is so powerful that it checks every box, heals all our wounds, and makes us want to delete all the apps. 

Instead of look...