Evaluate Risk Level
Just because something feels scary, doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you.
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- Consider the pros and cons of not facing your fear.
- Write those down.
- Identify the pros and cons of tackling your fears head-on.
- Write down what you might achieve or how your life might be different.
The best way to conquer a fear is to face your fears head-on in a healthy manner that helps you move past the fear rather than in a way that traumatizes you.
The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire.
Keep moving forward. A moderate amount of anxiety is good. Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears.
If you can’t actually do the thing that scares you to practice, you might use imagined exposure.
- If you have a specific phobia that you are not able to conquer on your own.
- If your fears are debilitating, or you aren’t having much success facing them on your own.
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For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.
These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as a person.
People with height phobias think something bad will happen when they are up high. But you are safer than you think and your feared outcome about heights won't really happen.
Ask yourself:
- What do you believe will happen when you expose yourself to your fear?
- How likely do you think it is that this would happen?
- What would be the outcome of it happening? (you might believe a tall building will collapse.)
Once you've answered the questions, start small with the thing you fear and see that the worst doesn't actually happen, or that it is not as bad as you feared.