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11 Keys to Mastering Difficult Conversations
9. Pay Attention
Our minds often wander and we're not present in the moment, with the people in front of us.
When you are not fully present, you are less likely to hear, understand and respond skillfully.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Be direct
When having a difficult conversation, be direct and get to the point quickly.
Difficult conversations become even more difficult when the delivery...
Be specific
The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received during a difficult conversation.
Be honest and thorough with your feedback, and fully clarify why you're having the conversation. Offer as many concrete examples as possible so the person understands you're not just pulling things out of thin air.
Plan out the conversation
The more prepared you are, the easier it will be to stay even tempered and not get flustered, and therefore deliver a more solid critique.
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Key Ideas
Eye signals
- Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.
- Blinking: People often blink more rapidly when t...
Lip signals
- Pursed lips: an indicator of distaste, disapproval, or distrust.
- Lip biting: signals people are worried, anxious, or stressed.
- Covering the mouth: used when people want to hide an emotional reaction.
- Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/ disapproval.
Gestures
- A clenched fist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
- A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and disapproval.
- The "okay" gesture: "okay" or "all right." In some parts of Europe, the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
- The V sign: peace or victory in some countries. In the UK and Australia, the symbol takes on an offensive meaning when the back of the hand is facing outward.
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Key Ideas
Ask Questions
Avoid this by asking questions. People l...
Put Away Your Phone
When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation. Nothing will turn someone off to you like a glance at your phone.
They Are Genuine
By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting person.