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Do These 5 Things to (Actually) Stick to Your Goals
Set realistic goals
Start with one behavior at a time.
Instead of concentrating on losing 20 pounds in 20 days, for example, make a goal to simply begin by eating five fruits and vegetables a day.
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15 minutes a day for making changes
Devote at least 15 minutes a day to your change.
Even if it’s just a walk around your neighborhood, one less cigarette, reading an inspirational article, do it. Mix it up, too. No one wants to be stuck doing some tedious workout regime.
Fork over the truth
Behavior modification teaches us that we repeat behaviors that make us feel good. What’s your payoff for not changing?
Until the goal becomes larger than the payoff, you’re always going to choose feeling good over feeling uncomfortable.
Never eliminate. Replace
If your goal includes eliminating a specific behavior, it must be replaced with a new behavior if you want permanent change.
If we don’t substitute a behavior, we end up creating a big void that leads to obsessive thinking. And that eventually will lead to falling back into old patterns.
Find support
We all need encouragement and support throughout our journey of change.
For you, maybe that’s a friend to hold you accountable or a group that is like-minded in where they want to go.
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Identity-Based Habits
Building these habits means focusing on the type of person you wish to become rather than the outcome you wish to achieve.
Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your curre...
Change can occur at 3 levels
- Outcomes: changing your results - losing weight, publishing a book, etc.
- Process: changing your habits and systems - implementing a new routine at the gym, developing a meditation practice, etc.
- Identity: changing your beliefs - worldview, self-image, judgments.
Changing your beliefs about yourself
- Decide the type of person you want to be;
- Prove it to yourself with small wins;
You have to become the type of person you want to be, and that starts with proving your new identity to yourself.
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Identity-based habits
The beliefs you have about yourself can drive your long-term behavior.
You could trick yourself into going to the gym or eating healthy once or twice, but if you don't shift your under...
3 layers of behavior change
- A change in your outcomes
- A change in your processes
- A change in your identity.
Most people start by focusing on outcome-based goals like “I want to lose 20 pounds”. But these are surface-level changes.
The root of behavior change
... and building better habits is your identity.
Each action you perform is driven by the belief that it is possible. So if you change your identity (the type of person that you believe that you are), then it’s easier to change your actions.
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Changing your habits
Our lives are defined by how we regularly spend our days. It is not determined by the occasional moments when we suddenly remember to exercise or call a friend.
To create new habits requires ...
Your brain thinks in pictures
The brain places information into maps and pictures for quick recollection. We not only remember the past, but we also collect pictures of what we believe is possible in the future.
These pictures of the future are what motivates us to stay disciplined with our actions until it becomes a habit.
Find your vision
Ask yourself:
- What new behaviors would you love to make into habits?
- What emotions do you want to experience more of?
- Who do you want to hang out with?
- What activities do you want to do more of?
- What can you do more or less of to increase your hope for the future?
- How do you want to feel this day next year?
Write your vision in a journal.
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