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5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure
List your best qualities
Ask two or three of your best friends to list ten of your best qualities and put those in there to jumpstart the project.
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Consider it beautiful
Insecurity — the vulnerability of spirit — is essentially humility, which is a virtue.
Self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad.
List your best qualities
Ask two or three of your best friends to list ten of your best qualities and put those in there to jumpstart the project.
Avoid people you feel insecure around
Sometimes you have to rearrange your schedule, take lunch at a different time, or compile a ton of excuses. You have to protect yourself for as long as you are feeling insecure.
Then, when you don’t feel as insecure, you can resume your old schedule or go to happy hour if you want and if your dog has been groomed.
Surround yourself with supportive people
Those trusted few are the voices of truth and we need as many voices of truth as we can get.
“We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” writes Beth Moore in “So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us.”
Invisible insecurities
You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure.
No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity. No one can see your insides but you.
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Key Ideas
What Confidence Is
True confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that is grounded in an authentic experience of our own ability, perspective and sufficiency.
It’s a stable connection to the fact that we...
Why Confidence Matters
- Confidence is an amplifier of quality and success.
- Confidence is essential to influence and leadership.
- Confidence isn’t just about style. It’s also about substance.
- Confidence protects us. It's one of the greatest weapons we can develop.
Nonverbal communication
Confidence is expressed most profoundly through our bodies. No matter how well we speak, the way we feel about ourselves will always manifest in our posture, our hand movements and our facial features.
So commit to strong, positive body language and make a conscious effort to form habits that make your nonverbal communication automatic.
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Change and the unchangeable
Meaning and relationships
- We generate meaning through relationships. And meaning is the fuel of our minds.
- Our relationships also define our understanding of ourselves. And when one of these relationships is destroyed, that part of our identity is destroyed along with it.
Depression vs. sadness
- Sadness occurs when something feels bad.
- Depression occurs when something feels meaningless.
When something feels bad, at least it has meaning. In depression, everything becomes a big blank void.
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Bad behaviors cascade
That reticence to ever ask someone out on a date probably plays out in your failure to move to a new city, to take that new job or the timidity around your co-workers.
Standing out of the crowd
People don’t like it when someone changes or does something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. They will think he’s crazy, selfish, arrogant. If you want to do something incredible, you have to become comfortable with being different from the rest.
Nothing worth having comes easy
As cliche as that sounds. Most of us give up on something we’re passionate about too soon. But anyone who’s been successful has a tale of struggle and perseverance to share.
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