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5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-things-to-do-when-you-feel-insecure/

psychcentral.com

5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure
I am terribly insecure much of the time. I grew up with bad acne, braces, and a twin sister who was in the popular group. The adolescent self-doubt had sticking power. At times I can pull off the image of a self-confident author and writer, but it usually lasts as long as the speaking event or lunch with my editor.

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Consider it beautiful

Consider it beautiful

Insecurity — the vulnerability of spirit — is essentially humility, which is a virtue.

Self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. 

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List your best qualities

Ask two or three of your best friends to list ten of your best qualities and put those in there to jumpstart the project.

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Avoid people you feel insecure around

Sometimes you have to rearrange your schedule, take lunch at a different time, or compile a ton of excuses. You have to protect yourself for as long as you are feeling insecure. 

Then, when you don’t feel as insecure, you can resume your old schedule or go to happy hour if you want and if your dog has been groomed.

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Surround yourself with supportive people

Surround yourself with supportive people

Those trusted few are the voices of truth and we need as many voices of truth as we can get. 

We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” writes Beth Moore in “So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us.”

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Invisible insecurities

You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure. 

No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity. No one can see your insides but you.

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Why Confidence Matters

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Nonverbal communication

Confidence is expressed most profoundly through our bodies. No matter how well we speak, the way we feel about ourselves will always manifest in our posture, our hand movements and our facial features. 

So commit to strong, positive body language and make a conscious effort to form habits that make your nonverbal communication automatic.

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Using Decision Trees

  • Understand the different outcomes that could happen (both positive and negative)
  • Calculate the expected return or loss of each outcome
  • Attach a probability to each outcome
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Use Decision Trees 

Elon Musk uses decision trees to make big decisions (a tool that uses a tree-like graph or model of decisions and their possible consequences, outcomes, and resources). They are particularly useful for avoiding stupid risks and big bets that aren’t likely to succeed.

Most became a billionaire by making unlikely big bets, as their expected return statistically was much higher than safer bets.

Build Deep, Long-Term Relationships

One of the best ways to get information is not from just being better at searching Google, it’s from learning how to build a network and get the information you need through that network. 

This network should include people’s lessons learned and hacks, topics that are too sensitive to talk about because they make someone look bad, and tacit knowledge (knowledge that people have but aren’t able to articulate).

Feeling lazy

Some people do the least to get just enough benefit. They can work hard, but only for a short amount of time. They always procrastinate with everything from cleaning to...

You form your identity

You make messiness and procrastination part of your identity when you don't want to do something you have to do and use the excuse that it is just "who you are." 

For example, you want to clean up after yourself, but you also don’t want to clean up, and then think, "This is me. Yes, I’m a lazy, procrastinating mess.” 

Conflicted about your choices

As long as you're conflicted about your preferences and the ways you've chosen to identify yourself, you have a problem.

It could be that you don't want to disappoint yourself and clearing the lowest hurdles possible. You are choosing a lifestyle of avoidance and low expectations.