Insecurity — the vulnerability of spirit — is essentially humility, which is a virtue.Self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad.

Consider it beautiful

Ask two or three of your best friends to list ten of your best qualities and put those in there to jumpstart the project.

List your best qualities

Sometimes you have to rearrange your schedule, take lunch at a different time, or compile a ton of excuses. You have to protect yourself for as long as you are feeling insecure. Then, when you don’t feel as insecure, you can resume your old schedule or go to happy hour if you want and if your dog has been groomed.

Avoid people you feel insecure around

Those trusted few are the voices of truth and we need as many voices of truth as we can get. “We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” writes Beth Moore in “So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us.”

Surround yourself with supportive people

You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure. No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity. No one can see your insides but you.

Invisible insecurities

I am terribly insecure much of the time. I grew up with bad acne, braces, and a twin sister who was in the popular group. The adolescent self-doubt had sticking power. At times I can pull off the image of a self-confident author and writer, but it usually lasts as long as the speaking event or lunch with my editor.