Don't become sensitive to rejection

Don't become sensitive to rejection

Many times the rejection does 50 percent of the damage and we do the other 50 percent of the damage. 

We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the rejection to another level.

Vihaan Das (@vihadas) - Profile Photo

@vihadas

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Self Improvement

huffpost.com

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Do not let it bother you in the first place, and then minimizing its effects after it's wreaked its havoc.

Rejection hurts

Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.

Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.

Identifying the hardest-hit

People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.

Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.

  • Build resilience. Remind yourself of your qualities and worth. 
  • Remind yourself of how much you are loved by having friends come over who value and care about you.
  • It's not always about you. Think about what might be going on for the other person. 
  • People change their reactions based on your behavior toward them.
  • Find someone you can trust to serve as a sounding board can help you gain perspective. 

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Rejection hurts

And we tend to interpret the pain incorrectly - we connect rejection to our self-worth, which makes us feel worse.

Rejection can benefit you. It can build resilience and help you grow and use the lessons you learn to future setbacks.

Acknowledging Emotions

Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself—or someone else—it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

Admit when you're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. Be confident in your ability to cope with discomfort in a healthy manner.

Confidence and self-perception
Confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker - our confidence is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality. So improving the external, tangible aspects of our lives won't necessarily build confidence.  - Mark Manson

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