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How to Be Happy When You're in an Unhappy Situation : zen habits

See the pain as aliveness

Being alive means feeling pain, feeling fear, feeling disconnected sometimes. Allow yourself to feel it, and imagine that this is what living feels like.

Because life isn’t numbness and avoidance, and it’s not all butterflies and sunshine.

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Stop Trying To Be Happy

Stop Trying To Be Happy

https://markmanson.net/stop-trying-to-be-happy

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Happiness, like other emotions, is not something you obtain, but rather something you inhabit. When you're raging pissed and throwing a socket wrench at the neighbor's kids, you are not self-conscious about your state of anger. You are not thinking to yourself, "Am I finally angry? Am I doing this right?"

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Happiness
Happiness

Happiness, like other emotions, is not something you acquire. It is something you are.
This implies that happiness is not a goal that you can reach. It is a side effect of a particular se...

Happiness is not the same as pleasure

While pleasure is correlated with happiness, pursuing pleasure does not cause happiness.

People who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious and less happy in the long run. Pleasure is necessary, but it's insufficient.

Lowering one’s expectations

Failing to meet your own expectations is not the opposite of happiness. Your ability to fail and still appreciate the experience is key to happiness.

The joy is not in getting what you want, but the process of working towards it, then raising the bar, and doing it again. If you fail, learn from it. 

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How to Let Go: Learning to Deal with Loss

How to Let Go: Learning to Deal with Loss

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And then it does. A night that you only get to experience maybe a couple times in your life, if you're lucky. And with that realization, to my surprise, I began to experience a faint sort of sadness. I grieved over a tiny loss of myself-that cocky, self-assured 27-year-old who walked into that restaurant having no idea what lay before him.

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Change and the unchangeable
We like to think that things can be changed. That we are in control somehow.  That's why “never” hurts, because never means that it can’t be changed. “Never” means it’s over. It’s gone. And ...
Meaning and relationships
  • We generate meaning through relationships. And meaning is the fuel of our minds. 
  • Our relationships also define our understanding of ourselves. And when one of these relationships is destroyed, that part of our identity is destroyed along with it. 
Depression vs. sadness
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When something feels bad, at least it has meaning. In depression, everything becomes a big blank void. 

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zen habits

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https://zenhabits.net/master-time/

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The truth is, most of us have a pretty adversarial relationship to time. There's never enough. We're always behind. It goes by too fast. We can't do important things because we don't have enough time. None of it is helpful. Most of it is bullshit. Let's take the first one: there's never enough time.

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Time is Limited Yet Abundant

Most of us conflict with time. Time is a paradox and is both limited and abundant at the same time. We can do great things with time, provided we know how to use this invis...

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Once we realize that every moment is a gift, we will not waste it but use it intentionally, for something important and meaningful.

It is important that we set some clear priorities and create space for them. 

Contemplating Death

This exercise makes us value our limited time and sheds away the unnecessary activities from our day. 

We start living a vivid life, and slow down, becoming fully present in the moment, savoring time like a limited edition treat before it vanishes.

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