Blame is Useless
We search for a source to our suffering and we tend to settle on people as the source of the misery because we know that people are capable of being responsible for what they’ve done.
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
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Blame is a defense mechanism. What we’re defending ourselves from is our own responsibility for dealing with the unpleasant experience we’ve been given.
The benefit in blame is that it allows us to avoid feeling like we’re failing ourselves, that we lack the strength and maturity to come to terms with the reality of unfairness or bad luck.
We can feel safe in pretending that our distress is not evidence of inadequacy in ourselves, but of one in someone else.
Assigning responsibility to others is sometimes possible, but blame itself doesn’t need to be a part of it:
Blame is not responsibility. It is the absurd act rejecting the reality we’ve been given and charging an unwilling and perhaps unwitting party with improving it, even if that party is an inanimate object sometimes.
And blaming is not useful.
It is taking responsibility for what happens to us, regardless of who we might think caused it.
When blame enters the picture, we start rejecting reality itself, which is the very definition of suffering.
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