Blaming Others - Deepstash

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Blaming Others

We have a tendency to find some part of our environment to scold — a person or thing — whenever we run into some kind of problem in our lives.

We search for a source to our suffering and we tend to settle on people as the source of the misery because we know that people are capable of being responsible for what they’ve done.

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Blame is a defense mechanism. What we’re defending ourselves from is our own responsibility for dealing with the unpleasant experience we’ve been given.

The benefit in blame is that it allows us to avoid feeling like we’re failing ourselves, that we lack the strength and maturity to ...

It is taking responsibility for what happens to us, regardless of who we might think caused it. 

When blame enters the picture, we start rejecting reality itself, which is the very definition of suffering.

Assigning responsibility to others is sometimes possible, but blame itself doesn’t need to be a part of it:

  • When we blame, most often we are attempting to delegate responsibility to somebody who isn’t willing to accept it.
  • Pinpointing one single person as the ulti...

Blame is not responsibility. It is the absurd act rejecting the reality we’ve been given and charging an unwilling and perhaps unwitting party with improving it, even if that party is an inanimate object sometimes.

And blaming is not useful.

We can feel safe in pretending that our distress is not evidence of inadequacy in ourselves, but of one in someone else.

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We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control. 

The judgment we should receive is based on how our actions turned out, rather than our intentions, no matter how good they were...

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Habit-formation apps are aspirational tools

They're less about distilling your life into a series of data points and more about becoming your ideal self: If you use their app, you too can become a person who practices good habits. You can become someone who exercises and meditates every day and always drinks eight glasses of water.

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Our inner 'demons'

Our inner Demons, or inner voices, make us do irrational, stupid and selfish things, based out of fear.

We hide and distract ourselves from our inner voice, which is nothing but our fear and insecurities, talking to us.

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