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Develop Your Self-awareness
- Learn to manage your own emotions.
- Practice noticing your feelings, thoughts, and behavior--your triggers. Document things as they come up.
338
1.32K reads
Listen
- Give the difficult person a chance to finish without interrupting.
- Ask clarifying questions if confused, and use paraphrasing and mirroring to check the accuracy of hearing.
- Acknowledge the other person's feelings. So, if the other person is angry, say, "You must be feeling very frustrated..."
295
992 reads
Give Feedback
- Maintain comfortable eye contact.
- Remain open-minded.
- Pay attention to non-verbal signals as a way of reading the person's feeling state.
- Use an "I" statement of feeling. Ex: "I feel like this decision violates our trust."
- Request what you'd like to happen differently the next time. If you want things to change, you'll probably need to provide a little guidance.
- Focus on the difficult person's behavior and never make it about the person.
- Feedback should always be focused on win-win.
- Get agreement about a plan of action, and commitment on both your parts to follow through.
305
946 reads
Be Assertive and Set Boundaries
An assertive person takes full responsibility for herself and her actions.
- Seek self-control, be fair and reasonable, take on the part of the problem that belongs to you, and keep the rest of the problem where it belongs--with the difficult person.
- Set limits and stand up for yourself so others won't take advantage.
- Use "I" statements, not "you" statements (these tend to lead to attack and blame).
329
1.04K reads
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Creator. Unapologetic student. Lifelong coffee ninja. Internet nerd. Bacon lover.
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