<div><p><span><b>An assertive person takes full responsibility for herself and her actions. </b></span></p></div><div></div><div><ul><li>Seek self-control, be fair and reasonable, take on the part of the problem that belongs to you, and keep the rest of the problem where it belongs--with the difficult person.</li><li>Set limits and stand up for yourself so others won't take advantage. </li><li>Use "I" statements, not "you" statements (these tend to lead to attack and blame).</li></ul></div>

Be Assertive and Set Boundaries

<div><ul><li><span>Give the difficult person a chance to finish without interrupting. </span></li><li>Ask clarifying questions if confused, and use paraphrasing and mirroring to check the accuracy of hearing.</li><li>Acknowledge the other person's feelings. So, if the other person is angry, say, "<i>You must be feeling very frustrated...</i>"</li></ul></div>

Listen

<div><ul><li><span>Learn to manage your own emotions. </span></li><li><span></span>Practice noticing your feelings, thoughts, and behavior--your triggers. Document things as they come up.</li></ul><span><b>When you get good at it, you'll start looking at the whole picture, and both sides of the issue</b>. You begin to tap into your emotions to choose a different outcome, like an assertive response to a difficult person overstepping your boundaries.</span><br></div>

Develop Your Self-awareness

<div><ul><li><b>Maintain comfortable eye contact</b>. </li>	<li><b>Remain open-minded.</b></li>	<li><b>Pay attention to non-verbal signals</b> as a way of reading the person's feeling state.</li>	<li><b>Use an "I" statement of feeling</b>. Ex: "<i>I feel like this decision violates our trust.</i>"</li>	<li><b>Request what you'd like to happen</b> differently the next time. If you want things to change, you'll probably need to provide a little guidance. </li>	<li>Focus on the difficult person's behavior and <b>never make it about the person.</b></li>	<li>Feedback should always be <b>focused on win-win.</b></li>	<li><b>Get agreement about a plan of action</b>, and commitment on both your parts to follow through.</li></ul></div><div></div>

Give Feedback

Lets get right down to it. You want to handle those difficult personalities like a boss? Well, as you read further, you'll notice a theme. It's more about you than that difficult person driving you nuts. Here are the best strategies for handling the most difficult person.

Listen

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