Mind Reading
It happens when we assume we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.
It is a failure of imagination because we often only imagine and focus on the negative aspects.
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The way we talk to ourselves about the events in our lives is subject to the same laws of learning and habit formation that physical behaviors are.
That means we can learn to talk to ourselves in specific ways just like we can learn to tie our shoes or say please and thank you.
Our emotions are always mediated by some form of thinking.
If our thoughts determine how we feel, that means how we habitually think will determine how we habitually feel.
It is the habit of telling ourselves that a negative event is bound to continue happening in the future.
When we overgeneralize, we make predictions about the future based on isolated pieces of evidence from the present.
It happens when we take our own errors or flaws and exaggerate them.
We take small negative events and turn them into disasters in our minds.
it involves being dismissive of our strengths and positive qualities.
It keeps us in a cycle of feeling inferior because we never focus or enjoy our true positive qualities and accomplishments.
It is the habit of making decisions based on how we feel rather than what we value.
It's when we use our emotions and feelings as evidence for what we should or shouldn’t do. Depression and procrastination are common results of this.
It is the tendency to evaluate things exclusively in terms of extreme categories.
It sets us up for chronic disappointment: When our expectations are consistently exaggerated, we never meet them and then always feel bad about ourselves.
It involves assuming an exaggerated responsibility for things that are mostly or entirely outside our control.
And this leads to excessive attempts at control, which in turn leads to chronic stress and anxiety.
It is the habit of describing ourselves or others in one extreme way, usually negatively.
It is always an inaccurate oversimplification.
- It can often be easier to identify examples of negative self-talk in other people first.
- Change your (inner) tone of voice.
- Validate your feelings instead of analyzing them.
- Be intentional, not habitual, with your self-criticism. Schedule a time to reflect on a perceived mistake or flaw intentionally.
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- Stop procrastinating, by finding its causes.
- Getting back on track with your sleep and with habits that lead to good sleep.
- Getting clear about the real reasons that go into unhealthy eating patterns.
- Therapy can help you see how your old patterns of thought and behavior might be getting in the way of good financial decisions today.
- Values clarification helps you to better understand what it is you truly value and carve our practical strategies for moving towards it.
Meditation helps you become aware of the negative ideas about yourself that you learned from experience, it allows you to rewrite the negative mental script that your brain likes to repeat.
Most of us hesitate to push back and stand up for ourselves because we’re afraid of being perceived as aggressive or rude. And so we default to being passive.
But there’s a middle road between being passive and aggressive: You can be assertive. It means standing up for your own wants, needs, and values, in an honest and respectful way.