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The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People

People Have Poor Memories

People are forgetful by nature (especially with information that doesn’t apply to themselves), so once again, don’t assume malice or disinterest if something is forgotten.

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The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People

The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People

https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/

scotthyoung.com

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Key Ideas

We're (Mostly) Focused On Ourselves

  • People are only focusing a small portion of their thoughts on judging you; your self-judgment is overwhelmingly larger.
  • People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions, but generally, the hurt you feel is a side-effect.
  • Relationships are your job to maintain. Don’t wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you.

Few Social Behaviors are Explicit

Most of the intentions behind our actions are hidden. If a person is feeling depressed or angry, usually the resulting behaviors distort their true feelings.

By focusing on empathy you can usually break away these subversions and get to the heart of the issue faster.

Our Feelings Are Not Explicit

Most of the time you feel something, nobody else knows about it. So don’t get angry when people aren’t responding to you.

If you deceive your thoughts with your actions, don’t get angry when you fool people.

Selfish Altruism

It happens when helping you directly or indirectly helps me. And our behavior is largely dictated by it.

Start understanding the motives of people and appeal to them as if they were selfish. Don’t expect people to offer aid outside of selfish altruism, it isn’t impossible, but it isn’t likely.

People Have Poor Memories

People are forgetful by nature (especially with information that doesn’t apply to themselves), so once again, don’t assume malice or disinterest if something is forgotten.

Everyone Is Emotional

Don't assume everything is fine just because someone isn’t having a nervous breakdown.

We all have our individual problems, angst, and upsets that are normally contained.

Loneliness

So many people who seem to have it all suffer from bouts of loneliness.

As social animals, people are especially sensitive to any threats to becoming ostracized.

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