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The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People

https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/

scotthyoung.com

The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People
My headline might sound overreaching. Clearly a rule can't define something as complex as human behavior. But despite this, I've found most people tend to make the same mistakes. These mistakes are frequent enough that they create conflicts later. Remembering these seven rules will help you avoid these mistakes.

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We're (Mostly) Focused On Ourselves

  • People are spending only a small part of their time on judging you; your self-judgment is overwhelmingly larger.
  • People who seem to be mean don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions, but generally, the hurt you feel is a side-effect.
  • Relationships are your job to maintain. Don’t wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you.

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Explicit Social Behaviors

Most of the intentions behind our actions are hidden. If a person is feeling depressed or angry, usually the resulting behaviors distort their true feelings.

By focusing on empathy you can usually break away these subversions and get to the heart of the issue faster.

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Our Feelings Are Not Explicit

Most of the time you feel something, nobody else knows about it. So don’t get angry when people aren’t responding to you.

If you deceive your thoughts with your actions, don’t get angry when you fool people.

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Selfish Altruism

It happens when helping you directly or indirectly helps me. And our behavior is largely dictated by it.

Start understanding the motives of people and appeal to them as if they were selfish. Don’t expect people to offer aid outside of selfish altruism, it isn’t impossible, but it isn’t likely.

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People Have Poor Memories

People are forgetful by nature (especially with information they don't find relatable), so don’t assume hostility or disinterest if something is forgotten.

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We Are All Emotional Beings

Don't assume everything is fine just because someone isn’t having a nervous breakdown.

We all have our individual problems, angst, and upsets that are normally repressed.

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Suffering From Loneliness

We are social animals and we feel especially sensitive to any threats to becoming ostracized.

So many people who seem to have it all suffer from periods of loneliness.

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7 Characteristics Of Strategic Thinkers

  1. Vision: they use a mix of logic and creativity to define ambitious but rigorous visions of what needs to be achieved. 
  2. Framework: taking into account their own biases, timeline and resources, they can define their objectives and develop multiple action plans.
  3. Perceptiveness: they observe and understand the world from all the different perspectives. 
  4. Assertiveness: They’re good at evaluating, deciding and promptly executing their decisions without letting doubts fog their vision. 
  5. Flexibility: they seek advice to compensate for their weaknesses and then twist their ideas and framework to achieve their goals. But they are flexible without breaking the rules. 
  6. Emotional Balance: they are aware and balance their emotions so as to favor the achievement of their goals. 
  7. Patience: they understand that most achievements are a long-term endeavor involving various milestones and a lot of effort. 

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Understanding morality

Psychologists do not understand human moral behavior, because it seldom makes any logical sense.

Using moral philosophy and psychology, biology, economics, mathematics, and computer science, ...

Our default mode

Through a series of experiments, it was discovered that despite the temptation to be selfish, most people show selflessness.

This is particularly true when subjects were forced to make their decision under time pressure; people are prone to cooperation when they rely more on intuition.

Creating quantitative models

Most of the psychological theories are verbal, but words can be imprecise. If "cooperation is intuitive", it needs to state when. And what does "intuitive" mean?

In order to solve this, computer simulations of society were developed.

Acknowledge Your Errors

Acknowledge Your Errors

Blaming other people or minimizing your responsibility isn’t helpful to anyone.

Before you can learn from your mistakes, you have to accept full responsibility for your role in the out...

Ask Yourself Tough Questions

While you don’t want to dwell on your mistakes, reflecting on them can be productive. Ask yourself a few tough questions:

What went wrong?

• What could I do better next time?

• What did I learn from this?

Seeing your answers on paper can help you think more logically about an irrational or emotional experience.

Make A Plan

It’s important to spend your time thinking about how to do better in the future, not beating yourself up for messing up.

Make a plan that will help you avoid making a similar mistake. Be as detailed as possible but remain flexible since your plan may need to change.