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How to be best friends for ever: don't cancel, fight like siblings and make new memories

“Best friend” is a tier, not a person

Friendship is not a monogamous relationship; there is room for more than one. When you’ve known someone for years, try to be confident in the bond you’ve got. 

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How to be best friends for ever: don't cancel, fight like siblings and make new memories

How to be best friends for ever: don't cancel, fight like siblings and make new memories

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/apr/27/how-to-be-best-friends-for-ever-dont-cancel-make-new-memories

theguardian.com

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Key Ideas

Nostalgia is overrated

If you start every conversation with, “Hey, remember that time when… ?” you and your friend will die of boredom.

You need new things, new memories, rather than using nostalgia as the glue holding a friendship together. Living in the past can make you both feel emotionally stunted and a bit stale.

It’s good to have “your thing”

People get busy and life has dramatic ups and downs, but if you watch Drag Race every Friday together or bake Betty Crocker cookies every month, you have something to anchor you through the chaos of life.

“Best friend” is a tier, not a person

Friendship is not a monogamous relationship; there is room for more than one. When you’ve known someone for years, try to be confident in the bond you’ve got. 

Fight like siblings

Unless something truly terrible happens, there’s no room for grudges.
You will annoy each other, of course, but it’s always better to get over it quickly.

Commitment

It is key to maintaining real relationships. 

Turn up, because you know they would do the same for you in a heartbeat.

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Be a regular

The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.

Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself. 

Talk about yourself

Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.

Focus on Being Open

Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.  

Be open and inviting.

Make a List

Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.

Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.

Put It On the Calendar

Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.

Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.

8 more ideas

Develop and maintain friendships
  • Look for friends with common interests. 
  • Schedule a "first date. There is nothing wrong with inviting someone for coffee or dinner because you think you have so...