Responding

Consider what the most intelligent and compassionate response might be. What can we do that will help our relationship, teach, build a better team or partnership, make the situation better, calm everyone down, including ourselves?

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Learn to Respond, Not React : zen habits

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zenhabits.net

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Communication

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Be realistic about the risks
Our natural bias is to start by imagining all the things that will go horribly wrong if we disagree with someone more powerful. Yes, your counterpart might be a little upset at first, but most likely you are not going to get fired or make a lifelong enemy. Consider the risks of not speaking up first, then realistically weigh those against the potential consequences of taking action.
How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful than You
Dealing with criticism that cuts
Distance Yourself From the Situation to allow you to calm down. Do not react or take it personally. Try to Understand Your Boss's Intentions. Is he's upset with your performance or exceptionally stressed or prone to say things he doesn't fully mean? Summarize the Criticism. Repeat back exactly what you think she's driving at. Try and word the criticism in a more positive light. "so you're saying I need to find a new work strategy so I can improve my performance?" Explain Your Perspective. The more specific you can be here, the better. Engage in a Dialogue. Work together with your boss to hash out the unspoken details of the criticism. Suggest an Action Plan and make sure to follow it. Consider Giving Criticism of Your Own if the criticism is misdirected. Tell your boss that his/her criticism was unwarranted or unhelpful, but suggest alternative strategies he/she can use in the future to make his/her criticism better.
7 Steps to Taking Harsh Criticism From Your Boss
Benefits of Making Mistakes
Mistakes point us to something we did not know Help us see what matters and what does not Inform us more about our values Teach us more about others Keep us connected to what works and what doesn’t work Remind us of our humanity Spur us to want to better work which helps us all Promote compassion for ourselves and others Help us to pace ourselves better Invite us to better choices Can suggest new options we had not considered Prompt us to learn more about ourselves Make us more humble Expose our true feelings Point us in a more creative direction Can hasten change Reveal our blind spots
40 Things You Learn From Making Mistakes
Use If-Then Statements
If-then plans can help us control our emotional responses to stress. Simply decide what kind of response you would like to have instead of feeling stress, and make a plan that links your desired response to the situations that tend to raise your blood pressure . For example, "If I see lots of emails in my inbox, then I will stay calm and relaxed," or, "If a deadline is approaching, then I will keep a cool head."
Nine Strategies Successful People Use to Overcome Stress