The Friend You Can't Be Alone With

Not because you dislike each other, but because you have no individual friendship with each other whatsoever.

This makes alone time very awkward for both of you.

@saisha01

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Self Improvement

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No matter what's going on in your life, good or bad, this type of friend will never ask you anything about it. 

He is either: extremely self-absorbed and only wants to talk about himself, he usually avoids getting to close to people or he really thinks you're self-absorbed and doesn't want to hear you brag about your life.

He has tall walls up, at least toward you, and so he builds a little skit for you two to hang out in to make sure any authentic connection can be avoided.

Sometimes that person only does this out of social anxiety and can actually become a great friend if you manage to break through that wall. 

Maybe you don't even realize you don't enjoy being friends with this person, or maybe you just like the idea of being friends with them. 

Most likely, they feel the same way about you.

You usually get together after a long exchange of texts, because you can't seem to find the time that works for both of you.

This friendship would be a marriage if only the other person weren’t extremely not interested in that happening.

Be smart and respect yourself enough to move on with your life. And if you're the part not interested, don't give false hopes to people.

You've been friends since when you were little and managed to stay friends through the years. 

You got used to each other and most likely would not be friends if you were to meet today.

You may be the same age, but you have totally different existences from one another.

This kind of friendship usually happens around the age of 30, because people advance into full adulthood at different paces.

This friend only wants bad things for you.

You and the Frenemy usually go way back, have a very deep friendship, and the trouble probably started a long time ago. That's why this kind of friend knows very well how to harm you.

You're probably creeping on this friend. He's not really a celebrity, you're just very well acquainted with their Facebook page. They probably have no idea this is happening.

Some ways to assess the nature of a friendship’s power dynamic: does one person cut in and interrupt the other person while they’re talking far more than the other way around? Is one person’s opinion or preference just kind of understood to carry more weight than the other’s? Is one person allowed to be more of a dick to the other than vice versa?

A near 50/50 friendship is ideal, but anything out to 65/35 is fine and can often be attributed to two different styles of personality.

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RELATED IDEAS

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

  • Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
  • When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
  • Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

6

IDEAS

We have something like a fixed "friendship budget." Extroverts may have more friends, but their friendships are not as close as those of introverts. We spend about 3,5 hours a day on social interaction. Your closest 5 friends get 40%, the other 10 in the group of 15 get the next 20%. And the last 135 friends get about 37 seconds a day.

The lesson is that you can't add time; you can only distribute it differently. Know who is important to you and prioritise them.

Look at your friendships through the lens of TME -Time, Money, and Energy.

These are your most valuable resources. Consider how you're spending your TME and who you're giving it to. If you feel drained of these resources, you may have to change the relationship.

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