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11 Communication Rules Every Couple Should Follow in Their Relationship
Don’t use extremes
Use criticism with pin-point accuracy and avoid the collateral damage that comes from the sweeping generalizations.
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Key Ideas
Communication needs improvement if:
- You are having trouble getting through to your spouse; you talk about the same issue over and over again without coming to an agreement.
- You seem unable to have a decent conversation without turning it into an argument.
- You fear to bring up certain topics.
- You do not talk meaningfully about anything anymore.
Just Communicate
It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.
It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.
Listen actively
Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:
- Paying attention to your partner.
- Tolerating your silence.
- Paying attention to your partner’s nonverbal communication.
- Reflecting and paraphrasing what your partner is saying: I hear you say you feel angry when I ….. Is that what you are saying?
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Key Ideas
Manage your feelings when in a relationship
Anger and frustration can result in great harm when expressed. When you experience these feelings towards your partner, try to calm down before starting a quarrel, which would only just injure your half's feelings.
A balanced relationship is a happy relationship
As you most probably know, making sure there is balance at every level in your relationship will only strengthen your connection with your better half. Therefore, take all the necessary steps to ensure that whenever one of you has a bad day, the other one is there to cheer him or her up.
Efficient communication within a relationship
Whenever you feel like asking something to your partner, try saying it in a polite and affectionate way, avoiding reproaches while making sure that you set the direction of your relationship up for success.
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Key Ideas
You don’t paraphrase or restate
Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's.
This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.
For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”
Focusing on the person instead of the issue
Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.
For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”
Not showing your appreciation
It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them.
This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.