11 Communication Rules Every Couple Should Follow in Their Relationship

Save your criticism and deposit your compliments. 

It’s essential to have more deposits (in the form of praise, kindness, expressions of approval) than withdrawals (in the form of criticism).

When an argument arises, you should both work from the position of 'what can we do to move our shared life forward?’ instead of investing energy into showing why one point of view is correct and the other one is not.

Take responsibility for your actions, be sincere, and work to make the other person feel accounted for and reassured that you’ll behave better next time. 

While there are plenty of situations where closed-ended questions are appropriate, couples who consistently communicate with open-ended questions, to spark “big talk,” show that they have a sincere interest in their partners and want to create closeness.

If you ignore this vital rule, you will overwhelm the other person, and they will have a tendency to emotionally shut down.

When you're engaged in a high-stakes conversation, listen to what your partner is saying, without interrupting until he or she is finished. Then, and only then, carefully formulate your response. 

Arguments will happen, but they need to be fully dealt with, and then forgotten about and never brought up again, for a couple to move forward daily with a fresh slate.

If it doesn’t seem like the right moment to express yourself, hold onto your feelings, and bring them up at a time when you’re in a calm space, and you can both properly address them with care and rationality. 

Use criticism with pin-point accuracy and avoid the collateral damage that comes from the sweeping generalizations.

This creates a peaceful resolution based on meeting each other’s needs. 

Great couples communicate well, without getting upset with each other for “messing up” by not understanding what’s going on in the head. If they are upset, they’ll openly say so, to resolve and move on.