Learn more about communication with this collection
How to build trust and respect with team members
How to communicate effectively
How to motivate and inspire others
Ask identity questions
Identity questions help your friend get in touch with the values that make them the person they are.
“What is really important to you?"; “What kind of life do you want to lead?”; and, "What kind of person do you want to become?"
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329 reads
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Empathize
Try, “You are in a tough situation"; Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place"; or "I’m so sorry you have to face this kind of problem right now.”
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389 reads
Use the skill of tentativeness
“Tentative” means “not fully worked out, uncertain, or hesitant."
Instead of assuming an expert stance, offer observations with a “beginner’s mind.” For example, say, “I’m not sure, but perhaps you worry that…”; or, “If you felt comfortable doing it, you could consider trying ….”
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Just be there
Listen. Your very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself.
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537 reads
Tell a story
Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.
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434 reads
Give advice
If you feel compelled to give direct advice, do it.
Some friends truly want and need to hear your opinion. Honest feedback, even when it may be hard to hear, can be just the tonic they need. Emphasize that your friend can take your advice or leave it.
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Expand your friend’s perspective
If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?”
You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This m...
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Ask the big questions
These are questions like “What do I really want?” or “Should I change careers?”
The more grounded you are with the answers to these important questions, the better able you are to reach your true goals.
Identity exploration
The journey of identity exploration often begins at adolescence.
Some people always do what others think is a good idea for them. Only later on in life, they will start to think that they never really pursued their own ideals, but the desires of others. It can become draining and contr...
Ask Questions
Someone might resort to guilt when they don’t know how to advocate for themselves in more direct ways.
If you notice signs suggestive of guilt-tripping, use open-ended questions to encourage them to express themselves directly:
- “You seem upset. What’s going on?”
- “It s...
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