A balanced relationship

  1. Assess where you are right now. If there is too much neediness or you feel that your partner is way too independent and doesn't want to be with you, rebalancing how you relate is very important. 
  2. Begin looking at how you got there. Ask each other some questions like "Did this start because of an argument?" or "Is this what you really want?" and "How can we make it better for both of us?"
  3. Talk about what you are feeling and make the necessary adjustments so that both of you can feel better.

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psychologytoday.com

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Interdependent
The healthiest way we can interact with those close to us is by being truly interdependent.

This is where two people, both strong individuals, are involved with each other, but without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values. Living in an interdependent relationship gives you both respect and nurturing.

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Interdependence

Being dependent on another person can be unhealthy. Independence, taken to an extreme, can actually get in the way of us being able to connect emotionally with others in a meaningful way. 

Interdependence suggests that partners recognize and value the importance of the emotional bond they share while maintaining a solid sense of self within the relationship dynamic. 

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Codependency in relationships means being overly preoccupied with your partner to the point of losing your own sense of who you are and what you need. 

Partners in an interdependent or secure relationship put the relationship first. Not their partner.

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Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to invest attention and work even in the best of times.

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10 Common Relationship Myths (and Why They're All Wrong)

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