Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Compassion - Deepstash

Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Compassion

Instead of applying self-criticism, we need to actively practice the opposite: self-compassion. 

Self-compassion is realising that self-criticism is the enemy and then acting to reverse its negative effects. Self-compassion also helps to unlock creativity. 

The two components of self-compassion:

  1. Making a conscious effort to stop self-judgment.
  2. Actively comforting ourselves, the same as we would do with a friend in need.

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Moving from self-criticism to self-compassion

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MORE IDEAS FROM Banish Your Inner Critic

Imposter Syndrome And Creative People

Imposter Syndrome is that inner voice telling you that your work is not good enough or, even worse, that you’re useless as a person.

  • Self-criticism can really put (and keep) us down.
  • Suffering from ‘imposter syndrome’ is common among most of us.
  • Even with those people where you least expect it, they often suffer from some form of self-criticism.
  • Creativity comes from relaxing self-evaluation and self-judgment – and the self-criticism and self-doubt that result from them.
  • Feeling like an imposter can impact one’s ability to be creative or try things.

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There are a number of so-called cognitive distortions that are relevant to the Inner Critic:

  • Mental filters, or selective abstraction.
  • Tunnel vision.
  • Magnification and Minimisation or binocular trick.
  • Overgeneralizations
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Mind reading or hunches.
  • Pessimism and catastrophizing a given situation by imagining the worst.
  • Emotional reasoning.
  • Thinking in All or Nothing terms(Black or White)
  • Ignoring positive aspects of a situation
  • Thinking everything is our own fault
  • Mislabeling of characterizations

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CHETAN BHAGAT

Be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticise others.

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Something happens and we imagine the absolute worst. Our mind plays tricks and we start ‘awfulizing’.

To stop this:

First, on a piece of paper or in a journal, write down and answer the question:

What I am afraid will happen?

Next, write down a response to this question:

What could happen?

If we actively apply realistic optimism, looking at the facts of the situation at hand without embellishing or minimising them, we can avoid a ‘spiralling’ effect.

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Letting go of our preoccupation with the trajectory of other people’s lives, we can transform our envy from a stagnant, blocking force into a powerful motivator for growth.

The tools and ideas above help us reframe our self-criticism; seeing critical thoughts for what they are and combating them with compassionate thoughts.

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There are a number of valuable tips to help you learn to take criticism well and use it to get better at whatever you are doing:

  • Breathe.
  • Detach from the situation or event mentally.
  • Listen actively.
  • Get specific demands and relevant, constructive criticism.
  • Discover new perspectives.
  • Be curious.
  • Grow.
  • Learn in real time.

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Awareness of your inner critical voice is crucial. This then enables you to see your critical thoughts for what they are: thoughts. 

Being more aware of what your brain and mind do when sensing a potential threat in the form of being judged and receiving criticism will encourage the development of a calmer part of the mind.

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The good thing about negative confirmation bias is that it can be flipped to create a positive full-filling prophecy too. Rather than walking around in a perpetual state of feeling that no one believes in you, you can be on the hunt for support. Take confirmation and use it as a force for good to seek out positivity rather than negativity.

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RELATED IDEA

Your inner critic

We almost all have a character inside our minds that tends to visit us late at night when we're very tired, telling us terrible things in order to destroy our self-confidence and self-compassion.

Too often, we don't know how to answer back. We forget that there might be any other perspectives. We let ourselves be beaten and sink into despair. However, we should prepare one or two things to shoot back at the critic when they next come calling.

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Learning to silence the inner critic

I feel like we’ve all heard those at some point of our life, either from outside or from inside. Now, we may not be able to do much about the negativity that comes from outside but we can change the negativity from inside.

So I did a lot of research, which consisted of reading, writing and watching a lot of Ted talks and I’ve found the top 3 ways to of silencing the inner critic and being a better you.

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Becoming Young

Being young is being curious. And most people become cynical and overly critical towards life as they grow older, and only a select few retain the wonder, innocence and joy of a child.

An adult's life consists of optimizing life using knowledge, mental models and practical shortcuts, a race towards better efficiency in everything. We stop asking the right questions, like the most common question a child asks: Why?

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