* You feel good about yourself — consistently.

Code for a relaxed, content vibe between you. You are not tiptoeing around your partner’s moods or hiding behind a curtain waiting for the next bomb to drop. The success of your evenings together does not depend on what mood your partner’s in or what kind of day they’ve had at work. You know who’...

You encourage each other to see friends and have interests beyond your relationship. You want your partner to have a life beyond you — and you feel happy, not stressed and paranoid, when they do.

Because you should.

Here’s a massive clue to contentment within a relationship. All couples disagree. Some say they don’t but I feel like they’re a little repressed. Conflict can be healthy but you’re in trouble when every little niggle between you blows into a storm, turns into a cold, stony silence or ends with a ...

Safety is the antidote to insecurity, in every way. Maybe you feel anxious and scared sometimes but your partner is not the cause of it — ever. You feel safe to reveal the full unabashed, unedited, weirdness of who you truly are. You trust them with your most vulnerable self. And they can trust y...

You can talk to your partner for hours and you can also not-talk happily — but it’s from choice rather than boredom or — er — dislike. You don’t dread the thought of a six-hour car trip together. You don’t try to avoid couple time. There’s no awkwardness, you just feel relaxed and content.

An older single woman told me she just wanted someone nice she could have dinner with, someone with whom she could chat about her day — someone who actually cared about how her day had been. It struck me how much we often take our long-term partners for granted. Relationships get tired, boring, g...