Recognizing the need for change - Deepstash

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How Shift Happens in Our Lives : zen habits

Recognizing the need for change

It’s a powerful skill to take a look at your life and see that you need to make a change. 

Often we know we need to change but don’t want to face it. The skill, then, is to get very honest with yourself and recognize that a change is needed, and then finding a way to flip the switch so that you’re committed and taking action.

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The Habit Dip
The Habit Dip

While pursuing a new habit, or eradicating an old one, we often experience a dip in motivation, focus and energy. This is due to many factors, like loss of motivation due to any in...

The Learnings Of The Habit Dip

The habit dip and other dips in motivation teach us the following:

  • Facing our difficulties, and not avoiding them.
  • Self-encouragement.
  • Letting of the false beliefs and ideals that make us discouraged.
  • Dealing with frustration and fear.
  • Self-nourishment.
  • Self-compassion.
  • Avoiding the usual excuses for quitting.
  • Avoiding self-pity or self-concern when things get hard.
Tips For When You're Experiencing Habits Dips

Anyone who has overcome the habit dip (like a marathon runner) will testify that the feelings of discouragement and boredom are temporary. Like everything else, these temporary feelings are waypoints and not endpoints.

  • One has to come with a learning mindset, bringing genuine interest, encouragement and curiosity, letting go of the old beliefs and ideals.
  • One can bring mindfulness and awareness into each body sensation, and the minds many discouragements.
  • A continuous learning experience can make one embrace the difficult areas.
What Perspective Taking Is

It’s the ability to take on someone else’s point of view when thinking.

By taking yourself out of the equation, the motivations of your opponent becomes clearer. And by understanding the othe...

Develop perspective taking
  • Put aside your feelings so that you can concentrate only on the other person’s perspective.
  • Use open ended questions that can help you draw out the interests and motivation that the person may not be verbalizing.
  • Be clear about your own position and the weaknesses it has.
  • Remove any personal intentions you may have, so as not to project them on to the other person.
  • Using what you know about the person, their background, their mood, their intentions and expectations,  imagine how they are seeing the current situation.
  • Validate their position by paraphrasing back to them what you think their position is.
Using perspective taking

When you break it down, almost every aspect of business involves an element of negotiation. 

By honing your perspective taking skills, you are much more likely to come up with solutions that are acceptable to all parties.

The costs of indecisiveness
  • Not taking action can cost you an opportunity, or cost money and time as you delay.
  • People waiting for you to make a decision can get frustrated.
  • You can feel stress about your...
How we deal with uncertainty

These are some of the common ways we habitually deal with the uncertainty of a decision. But none of them solve the problem for us:

  • Doing some research. 
  • Writing out a pros and cons list.
  • Asking a bunch of people about their opinion.
  • Putting off the decision.
We are uncertain about
  • What the best choice might be.
  • Whether there will be negative consequences of the choice.
  • Whether we’ll look dumb to others if we make the wrong choice.
  • Whether we’ll feel dumb, or ripped off, and regret it for years to come.
  • Whether we’ll be OK if we make the wrong choice.