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Take your time
If you’re finding yourself experiencing some challenging emotions that feel hard to manage, or if you notice that you’re having a tough time processing and responding, slow the process down.
- One way to do that is by looping—repeating back what you hear the other person say. It also serves to help the other person feel like you understand them.
- Another way to do that is to write things down, which (especially if you do it by hand) will give you time to reflect on the conversation as you slow it down to take notes.
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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE
Ask yourself this: “If I had to admit that 2% of the feedback were true, what 2% would it be?”. This gives you the opportunity to reflect on the overall feedback, and look for parts of it where maybe (just maybe) you can see yourself in there.
Here's what NOT to do if you get some feedback from your manager that you disagree with:
As much as you may find little merit in your manager’s feedback, look for any areas of agreement—no matter how small.
If you get nonspecific, not clear feedback like, “you’re not being proactive enough” you’re going to need to dig a bit.
If, after your conversation, your manager backs down because you helped them see it your way, congratulations. And, in the likely event that this doesn’t happen, make a plan with your manager for you to try the new or different approach—but to check back in soon about how it’s going.
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