Curated from: fastcompany.com
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Here's what NOT to do if you get some feedback from your manager that you disagree with:
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If you get nonspecific, not clear feedback like, âyouâre not being proactive enoughâ youâre going to need to dig a bit.
Remember â tone matters a lot. Speak calmly, carefully, and with curiosity.
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If youâre finding yourself experiencing some challenging emotions that feel hard to manage, or if you notice that youâre having a tough time processing and responding, slow the process down.
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As much as you may find little merit in your managerâs feedback, look for any areas of agreementâno matter how small.
For example, if your boss gives you the feedback that youâre not following up with prospects quickly enough, and you think youâre doing it as fast as you possibly can, you can still agree that both of you want to convert prospects into paying clients.
See if you can agree on the what and why even if you see the âhowâ differently.
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Ask yourself this: âIf I had to admit that 2% of the feedback were true, what 2% would it be?â. This gives you the opportunity to reflect on the overall feedback, and look for parts of it where maybe (just maybe) you can see yourself in there.
For example, if your boss says, âYou rushed through the client pitchâ and you think you spoke at a reasonable pace, perhaps you could admit that you were a little nervous. Once you do that, be willing to share that with your boss and start from there.
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 If, after your conversation, your manager backs down because you helped them see it your way, congratulations. And, in the likely event that this doesnât happen, make a plan with your manager for you to try the new or different approachâbut to check back in soon about how itâs going.
That way, you wonât spend months engaged in a new way of working without knowing whether or not itâs making a positive difference.Â
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