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As a second step in analyzing your own email communication, count all your pronouns—e.g., “I,” “me,” “you,” “us,” “our,” “we,” etc. Personal pronouns reflect attention to people rather than to objects or concepts.
The more personal pronouns are present, the more people are paying attention to people—themselves as well as others. First-person pronouns are interesting.
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Examine at least three exchanges between you and another person, using these three indexes. Are you engaged? Is the other person engaged? On what dimensions: emotional, social, task?
Using a lot of “I, me, mine” words can reflect a neurotic or ruminative self-focus, in natural conversation it often takes the form of hedging (e.g., “I think this might work”). But it also can reflect dominance.
Think about your e-communication like cholesterol, meaning that there are two kinds of conversational tones: positive and negative.
People behave differently when they are not face-to-face. They are more negative and, often, more presumptuous, conveying the impression that they are entitled and not easy to work with. This is a problem because excessive pride or hubris harms our ability to locate the sweet spo...
According to researchers, three types of engagement can be measured via your words: emotional engagement, social engagement, and task engagement.
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