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The 5 Psychological Stages Of Forgiveness

Let the feeling be felt

Any feelings that are attached to the damaging behavior need to be brought to the surface.

If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

The 5 Psychological Stages Of Forgiveness

The 5 Psychological Stages Of Forgiveness

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/psychological-stages-of-f_b_955731

huffpost.com

5

Key Ideas

Define who and what

Identify the person who has affected you negatively.

Identify the specific behavior that damaged you. Consider the person as a whole with positive and negative behaviors. The person is not the behavior, but the behavior is a part of that person.

Let the feeling be felt

Any feelings that are attached to the damaging behavior need to be brought to the surface.

If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him. 

Forgiveness is good for you

Many of us have anxious and negative attachments to people who have hurt us in the form of anger, hate, resentment, irrational guilt or shame.

Removing the negative attachment through forgiveness will make you feel liberated and open you to the positive that life has to offer.

Have clear boundaries

Make sure you rebuild a place of safety for yourself by having clear boundaries with the person who wronged you. 

It takes courage

We tend to avoid facing our deep emotions since they make us feel anxious, at first.

Understand that it may be so in the beginning but in the end, it will be more liberating. Be patient with the process.

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A proper apology

One thing that often helps people to forgive is receiving an apology.

A good apology ideally has three parts: an admission of responsibility, a demonstration of sorrow, and doing something to remedy the offence, or prevent a repetition of it. 

Apologies and understanding

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Forgiveness
  • Forgiveness is choosing to accept what happened as it happened rather than what could or should have happened. 
  • Forgiveness can mean that you let go. 
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Forgiveness is a process

Forgiveness takes time for most. Shock and anger often come before forgiveness. Deal with the hurt feelings before moving into forgiveness.

The act of forgiving is one of realizing that holding onto the anger and resentment no longer carries the same weight on us.

Forgiveness ≠ weakness

One roadblock people face with forgiveness is the idea of being seen as "weak" and saying that what the offender did is excusable.

It requires more strength to forgive. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.

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