Spark Or No Spark

Breakups wreak havoc on your physical and emotional health. However, what you feel during a breakup is only temporary.

Journaling helps. Write about the positive aspects of the breakup, and the negative aspects of the relationship, to help yourself move forward.

You c...

Securely attached people are about 50% of the population but because they’re good at relationships, they tend to be taken and are good at making relationships work

Try to date someone who is securely attached or work on becoming more secure yourself

The hard work of love isn’t just finding someone, there’s making it work, keeping the love alive, and navigating the ups and downs of a relationship.

It’s okay if you go on a first date and don’t feel the “spark” or instant chemistry. Oftentimes it takes time to develop that chemistry.

The Happily Ever After fallacy is the false idea that finding someone is the hard part of finding love

The hard work of love isn’t just finding someone, there’s making it work, keeping the love alive, understanding different relationship phases, and navigating the ups and downs

Fi...

Attachment theory is one of the most rigorously researched elements of relationship science. It is based on how kids related to their primary caregiver. 

There are 3 main types of attachment:

Anxiously attached: These people have a fear of their partner aband...

Our mindset matters! The ability to shift your mindset from soul mate to work-it-out beliefs could mean the difference between finding a life partner or not.

People with a work-it-out mindset know that relationships take effort and that building a successful relationship is a proces...

• Aim to find someone great, put in the effort, and create the relationship you want 
• A huge percentage of the success in a relationship is the effort you put into making it work

Have hard conversations to make sure both of you are heading in the same direction before getti...

Instead of focusing on instant chemistry with your date, focus on the slow burn. The slow burn is the person who gets better over time and would make a great long-term partner.

Perfection is a lie. Everyone else is imperfect, too—even the person you’ll eventually end up with.

By waiting to date, Hesitaters miss out on a chance to develop their dating skills and figure out what type of person they want to be with.

Here’s how you can learn to ...

• Emotional stability: someone who doesn’t overreact in tough situations
• Loyalty: someone who has existing long term friendships.
• Growth mindset: someone who believes they can grow their skills through effort.
• A...

• Stop treating dates like job interviews, get out of work mode and focus on connecting with the person instead.
• Instead of trying to be interesting, aim to be interested.
• Be a good listener, ask follow up questions, and really get to know the person you’re on a date with

• Looks and money don’t matter in a long term partner as much as we think they do because we adapt to our circumstances over time
• You don’t necessarily need someone with the same personality as you. You want someone whose personality complements yours.
• You don’t necessarily nee...

1. The Romanticizer has unrealistic expectations of relationships. They want the soul mate, the happily ever after, the whole fairy tale.
2. The Maximizer has unrealistic expectations of their partner. They love to explore their options and want to feel ab...