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How to Define Success on Your Own Terms
Intimate Relationships
You and your partner are best able to define what you think a successful relationship looks like.
When assessing your relationship, instead of comparing it to other couples, ask: “How do we mutually contribute to making our lives better?”
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Intimate Relationships
You and your partner are best able to define what you think a successful relationship looks like.
When assessing your relationship, instead of comparing it to other couples, ask: “How do we mutually contribute to making our lives better?”
Parenting
Instead of criticizing yourself (or your children) for not being perfect, give yourself credit for being the best parent you can be. Enjoy your children for who they are.
If there are areas where you can do better, focus on those things and give them your best shot.
Professional Achievements
You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends and colleagues, appreciate the extent of what you have already achieved.
Then, challenge yourself in the next round of your journey.
Material Possessions
If you view material possessions as the overwhelming proof that someone is successful—maybe you’ve got it wrong.
The most successful people see acquiring material possessions as benefits of the labor bargain.
Happiness
Happiness is a subjective concept. What makes one person happy may not satisfy the next.
When determining whether you are “successful,” ask yourself whether you are happy.
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But you don’t have to constantly be battling your fears. You only need to be courageous for 20 seconds at a time.
If you courageously confront fear for 20 seconds every single day, before you know it, you’ll be in a different socio-economic and social situation.
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Fear of success
It's a very real but often misunderstood struggle. The key thing to realize is that, in most cases, the fear is about the consequences of success, not the success itself.
This fear like...
What fear of success looks like
- Fear of success usually doesn’t mean a literal fear of success. People fear the results and consequences of making lots of money, for example, not the money itself.
- Fear of success is often learned at a young age.
- Fear of success is maintained (and made worse) by avoidance.
- Fear of success is painful. It brings a lot of anxiety.
- Most people who are afraid of success are embarrassed by their fear.
Work through your fear of success
- Validate your fear of success by understanding its origins.
- Track your avoidance strategies related to fear of success.
- Face your fears of success (the smart way).
- Get professional help from a cognitive behavioral therapist.