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7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others

Know thyself

Get to know yourself as best you can. Become familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others

7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201511/7-tips-create-healthy-boundaries-others

psychologytoday.com

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Key Ideas

Verbal violations

  • Not allowing you to speak or be heard.
  • Yelling at you.
  • Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.
  • Gossiping about you.

Psychological/emotional boundary violations

  • Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem
  • Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you
  • Lying to you
  • Criticizing you
  • Manipulating you
  • Mocking you
  • Making demands of your time
  • Bullying you
  • Lording a superior attitude over you

Physical violations

  • Moving into your personal space
  • Touching you without permission
  • Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you
  • Violating your privacy
  • Damaging or destroying your personal property
  • Threatening you with physical harm

Know thyself

Get to know yourself as best you can. Become familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas.

Take responsibility for yourself

Develop the capacity to know what needs to be done for yourself.

By setting your own boundaries, you are setting your limits about who can come into your space and what you expect of others once they’re there.

Develop a healthy respect for yourself

When you respect yourself, you should expect that others will treat you with respect. If they don’t, that’s a clear sign not to engage.

Heed the warning signs

Stay away from anyone who thinks nothing of invading your space for their own end.

Don’t try to fix people

It’s a waste of your time and energy to try to fix other people because they’re not interested in becoming any other way than they are.

You are in charge of your choices

You don’t need to feel that you owe anyone anything more than you want to give with your free and conscious heart.

If anyone invades your boundaries, be ready to walk away without fear or guilt.

Separate yourself from others

Understand that your boundaries are different from others.

You can learn to be emotionally attached to others while remaining psychologically and intellectually detached. This kind of space allows for personal expression while minimizing emotional and psychological entanglement.

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NO boundaries = little self-esteem

The first step to change is admitting this.

Your boundaries are your values. Boundaries are representative of how much or little you respect yourself. 

Choose your core values

You must make your boundaries about you.

Once you get clear about what matters most to you, then you can take the bigger step of communicating that to the others.

You can't change others

You are not responsible for what they say, their reactions or for the daily choices they make.

Since you can't change other people, change how you deal with them. They may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.

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Learning to set healthy personal boundaries
  • Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
  • Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
  • Learn to say no.
  • I...
Defining Boundaries

The word “boundary” can leave the impression of separation.

But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or profess...

The benefits of boundaries
  • Boundaries improve our relationships and self-esteem. They protect relationships from becoming unsafe.
  • Boundaries can be flexible. It’s good to think about them occasionally and reassess them.
  • Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy. Without them, self-esteem and identity can be affected, and you can build resentment toward others.
  • Boundaries give us space to grow and be vulnerable. 
Determine your borders

Our boundaries are shaped by

  • our heritage or culture
  • the region we live in or come from
  • whether we’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between
  • our life experiences
  • our family dynamics
Boundaries are a deeply personal choice and vary from person to person. You can investigate and define your boundaries with self-reflection.

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