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9 Tips To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence For Stronger Relationships

Know thyself

Having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others. 

To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick. 

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9 Tips To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence For Stronger Relationships

9 Tips To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence For Stronger Relationships

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17573/9-tips-to-increase-your-emotional-intelligence-for-stronger-relationships.html

mindbodygreen.com

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Key Ideas

Emotional intelligence (EQ)

EQ is the ability to be able to recognize and regulate your own emotions, while also empathizing with others and maintaining an awareness of their reactions.

EQ can be developed with practice. 

Know thyself

Having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others. 

To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick. 

Be open to feedback and criticism

Weighing feedback can help you guard against blind spots. It can assist you in recognizing if your behaviors are having the effects you are intending.

If they aren't, you can adjust your actions or apologize accordingly (or mindfully choose not to do either).

Identify your feelings

Do this particularly when you feel yourself experiencing strong emotions.
If a co-worker makes a comment that triggers you, make a mental note of what exactly it is that you might be feeling. It will help you to develop your emotional vocabulary and help you to take a step back from your reactions and engage the parts of your brain associated with problem-solving. 

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose ... and non-judgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.

By learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can increase your awareness of them with more clarity.

Breathe deeply

If we can calm our body's reaction to our stress, the emotional component is mitigated. 

Nip your body's stress in the bud, and you'll find that your emotional stress will decrease accordingly. When you feel tense, breathe slowly and deeply, concentrating on letting the air flow in and out of your abdominal cavity. 

Question your stories

Instead of succumbing to a knee-jerk negative reaction when you become upset by someone else's actions, slow down and consider if there are other ways of explaining the situation. 

Even if you don't change your opinion regarding what happened, the additional time spent thinking about it may calm you down enough to opt for a more constructive response.

Celebrate your positive emotions

People who experience more positive emotions enjoy better relationships and are more resilient in response to negative events. 

Be intentional about doing things that bring you joy. Practice gratitude, engage in acts of kindness, exercise and reminisce about positive experiences.

Empathize

Emotionally intelligent people are skilled at putting themselves in other people's shoes. 

Consider situations from others' perspectives to better understand those around you. This increased insight will enable you to connect with them more effectively, and may even teach you something about yourself in the process.

Make active-listening your priority

Deal with conflict more effectively by tackling issues head-on in an assertive, but respectful manner — all without defensiveness. 

By listening empathetically to the other person, you will also create the space for taking your own thoughts and feelings into account.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

What Emotional Fitness is

It's the idea that in order to lead healthy, happy emotional lives we need consistent habits and exercises that support our mental health and wellbeing.

The Benefits of Emotional Fitness
  • Decreased stress: you learn to manage your triggers.
  • Better communication in relationships: it helps you to tolerate and manage difficult emotions and then find more productive ways to work through difficulties.
  • Decreased anxiety: you train your mind to stop fearing its own emotional reactions.
  • You stick with your goals: you learn to deal with emotions like anxiety, shame, regret.
  • Increased self-awareness: you learn to build a better relationship with your emotions.
Get to know your emotions
  • Emotional clarity: Taking the time to deliberately reflect on our emotions, to observe and label them.
  • Emotional myth-busting: Eliminating myths and misconceptions floating around people’s minds about emotions. 
  • Emotional tolerance: Learning to resist short-term gratification and instead invest in long-term values.

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Use assertive communication

Assertive communication allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate ...

Respond instead of reacting

The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. 

They don't make impulsive decisions and understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution.

Utilize active listening skills

Emotionally intelligent people make sure they understand what is being said before responding. 

They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.

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Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of oth...
Reduce Negative Emotions

... so they don't overwhelm you and affect your judgment. 

In order to change the way you feel about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it. 

Increased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for my dream job. I’ll be devastated if they don’t hire me.”
Decreased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for three exciting positions. If one doesn’t pan out, there are two more I’m well qualified for.”

Stay Cool and Manage Stress

How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. 

  • If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. 
  • If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself. 

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Emotional Intelligence( EQ/EI)

Is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

Benefits of a higher EQ
  • Ease in forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships and in ‘fitting in’ to group situations.
  • A better understanding one's own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.
IQ and EQ

There is no correlation between IQ and EQ scores.

IQ has no connection with how people understand and deal with their emotions and the emotions of others (EQ). 

You simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is.

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Emotional Intelligence Matters
EQ is not only the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, but it’s also the ability to recognize the emotions of others.
Manage your negative emotions
When you’re able to manage and reduce your negative emotions, you’re less likely to get overwhelmed. 

If someone is upsetting you, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, allow yourself to look at the situation in a variety of ways. Try to look at things objectively so you don’t get riled up as easily. 

Be mindful of your vocabulary

Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can help communicate deficiencies, and then they immediately work to address them. 

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Gain Control Over Your Mood
  • Label Your Emotions: There are times that you might feel different emotions. Pay attention to what's really going on inside you to help you take a lot of sting out of that em...
Mood Control = Positive Outlook

Emotions are powerful and managing it is tough at times. But by gaining control over them makes you mentally stronger.

You'll gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort while also knowing that you can make healthy choices that shift your mood.

Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence

It's the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions, to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships, and to manage your own and others’ emot...

The 5 components of EI

  1. Self-Awareness: understanding of one’s emotions.
  2. Self-Regulation: it frees us from being prisoners of our feelings.
  3. Motivation: having an intrinsic desire to achieve things.
  4. Empathy: the ability to understand emotions of other people.
  5. Social Skill:  the ability to build rapport and manage relationships.

There are 3 types of empathy
  • Emotional empathy: “You feel awful? Then I feel awful too!”
  • Cognitive empathy: “I understand that you are feeling awful. That must suck.”
  • Compassion: “You feel awful? I feel for you. How can I help?”

Compassion is what we focus on for emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence

People with high emotional intelligence (EQ) are generally found to have more success in life.

Being better at handling and gauging emotions and forming relationships is a formidable t...

Five Questions

... we need to ask ourselves in order to assess low emotional intelligence:

  1. Are you quick to judge? Low EQ people make hasty, impulsive and negative decisions.
  2. Do you have a hard time accepting criticism? Low EQ people tend to freak out when criticized.
  3. Are you stressed or anxious? People with low EQ tend to be anxious and stressed.
  4. Are you a bad listener? Low EQ individuals neglect to listen and lack empathy
  5. Is it hard to recover from mistakes? High EQ individuals are resilient and heal easily.
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional Intelligence (EI)

EI means the mastery of emotional competencies. 

That includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Questions to Measure EI in interviews
  • How do you establish trust? An environment with trust promotes higher working engagement
  • If you worked for your top competitor, how would you beat yourself?  This question could show the candidate's ability to put the good of the organization ahead their own pride.
  • Can you use a belief statement to explain the value of what we offer? Ask a belief statement that gets at the heart of what an organization or team offers.
Emotional Intelligence: The Assumptions
Emotional Intelligence: The Assumptions

Emotional Intelligence(EQ), or the ability to be able to identify and respond to the other person’s feelings is a soft-skill based on two flawed assumptions:

  1. It is ...
The Neuroscientific View Of Emotional Intelligence

A scientific way to define and understand emotional intelligence is to view your brain as a construction, an on-the-fly builder of thoughts, emotions, and perceptions.

The reflex-like emotional reactions are just the tip of the iceberg, and the brain is constantly shape-shifting itself and processing the sensory inputs that are received into useful predictions and actions.

Emotional Granularity: Becoming An Emotional Expert

If the brain has a large, flexible range of diverse emotions in any given situation, it’s emotional intelligence is wide-ranging and finely tailored. This ability of a flexible, emotion-rich brain is called granularity.

Real emotional intelligence means understanding that sometimes feelings and emotions cannot be distilled and expressed using a predefined slot. Emotional granularity is the coming-of-age of the decades old understanding of EQ, now evolved and unfolding its many facets.