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7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201511/7-tips-create-healthy-boundaries-others

psychologytoday.com

7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others
A healthy relationship requires the space to be yourself and to maintain your personal integrity. Most people will respect your boundaries when you explain what they are and will expect that you will do the same for them; it's a two-way street. Not so with people who don't understand where you end and they begin.

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Verbal violations

  • Not allowing you to speak or be heard.
  • Yelling at you.
  • Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.
  • Gossiping about you.

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Psychological/emotional boundary violations

  • Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem
  • Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you
  • Lying to you
  • Criticizing you
  • Manipulating you
  • Mocking you
  • Making demands of your time
  • Bullying you
  • Lording a superior attitude over you

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Physical violations

  • Moving into your personal space
  • Touching you without permission
  • Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you
  • Violating your privacy
  • Damaging or destroying your personal property
  • Threatening you with physical harm

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Know thyself

Know thyself

Get to know yourself as best you can. Become familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas.

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Take responsibility for yourself

Develop the capacity to know what needs to be done for yourself.

By setting your own boundaries, you are setting your limits about who can come into your space and what you expect of others once they’re there.

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Develop a healthy respect for yourself

When you respect yourself, you should expect that others will treat you with respect. If they don’t, that’s a clear sign not to engage.

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Heed the warning signs

Stay away from anyone who thinks nothing of invading your space for their own end.

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Don’t try to fix people

It’s a waste of your time and energy to try to fix other people because they’re not interested in becoming any other way than they are.

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You are in charge of your choices

You don’t need to feel that you owe anyone anything more than you want to give with your free and conscious heart.

If anyone invades your boundaries, be ready to walk away without fear or guilt.

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Separate yourself from others

Understand that your boundaries are different from others.

You can learn to be emotionally attached to others while remaining psychologically and intellectually detached. This kind of space allows for personal expression while minimizing emotional and psychological entanglement.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

NO boundaries = little self-esteem

The first step to change is admitting this.

Your boundaries are your values. Boundaries are representative of how much or little you respect yourself. 

Choose your core values

You must make your boundaries about you.

Once you get clear about what matters most to you, then you can take the bigger step of communicating that to the others.

You can't change others

You are not responsible for what they say, their reactions or for the daily choices they make.

Since you can't change other people, change how you deal with them. They may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.

3 more ideas

You Have A Boundary Issue If…

  • you feel like people take advantage of you or use your emotions for their own gain.
  • you feel like you’re constantly having to “save” people close to you and fix their problems all the ...

Personal Boundaries

Having healthy personal boundaries means taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT blaming others.

People with high self-esteem have strong personal boundaries. And practicing strong personal boundaries is one way to build self-esteem.

Poor Boundaries 

People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.

People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save someone.

Predictably, these two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, yet completely fail to meet each other's true need to feel loved. The real solution would be for both to take responsibility for their own problems.

Learning to set healthy personal boundaries

  • Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
  • Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
  • Learn to say no.
  • I...