Letters Of Condolence
- You are extending respect and friendship. Write quickly, and preferably by hand.
- You’ll want to calibrate what you write to your relationship both with the recipient and with the deceased. Make it personal.
- If you knew the deceased well, sharing a couple of warm memories will let the recipient feel there’s a shared bond.
- If you didn’t know the deceased, you can make respectful reference to what you knew of them.
- Use tact. Don’t tell the recipient how they should be feeling.
- If you’re finding it hard to know what to say, you can acknowledge that; but don’t harp on it.
- Avoid operatic, or competitive, expressions of grief.
- Acknowledge, but don’t belabour, the grief and pain they feel.
- Focus on the individual excellence of the deceased rather than the consequences of the loss itself.
- Be tactful of their religion even if you don’t believe in it.
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