How to Set Better Boundaries: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers - Tiny Buddha
It’s totally normal to feel guilty, selfish, or embarrassed after setting a (completely valid) boundary.
Your boundary-setting muscle will take time to develop. Prepare a mantra to refer to after setting difficult boundaries with others. “I set boundaries to..."
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Having healthy personal boundaries means taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT blaming others.
People with high self-esteem have strong personal boundaries. And practicing strong personal boundaries is one way to build self-esteem.
People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.
People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save someone.
Predictably, these two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, yet completely fail to meet each other's true need to feel loved. The real solution would be for both to take responsibility for their own problems.
The first step to change is admitting this.
Your boundaries are your values. Boundaries are representative of how much or little you respect yourself.
You must make your boundaries about you.
Once you get clear about what matters most to you, then you can take the bigger step of communicating that to the others.
You are not responsible for what they say, their reactions or for the daily choices they make.
Since you can't change other people, change how you deal with them. They may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.
The word “boundary” can leave the impression of separation.
But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or profess...
Our boundaries are shaped by