Designate a 'cheerleader' - Deepstash
Managing Remotely

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Managing Remotely

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Designate a 'cheerleader'

Set yourself up for success by choosing a cherished friend, family member, or partner to be your boundary cheerleader.

When you set a new boundary, let your cheerleader know,  and carve out space for the two of you to celebrate your success.

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2.16K reads

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Find your trusted people

Without a clear sense of your own boundaries, you may regularly overshare personal information. It can make others feel uneasy and you uncomfortably overexposed.

Create a list of sensitive topics that you will only discuss with trusted people who make you feel safe and seen.

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2.66K reads

Practice saying “no thanks”

It’s common to feel like you need to explain your boundaries to others. But you don’t.

Practice saying “No, thanks” and nothing more.

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2.76K reads

Take a break from a toxic friendship

Healthy friendships are mutually nourishing, not one-sided and depleting.

If you have a one-sided friendship that leaves you feeling unseen, unheard, or disrespected, resolve to take a break from that relationship.

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2.39K reads

When others set boundaries

People who have trouble setting boundaries usually have trouble responding to boundaries set by others.

Instead of feeling dismissed, angry, or rejected when friends or lovers put limits on your interactions, respond with “I value your honesty” or “I appreciate you sharing ...

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3.08K reads

Imagine how your life will be different

Imagine the many ways you will benefit from setting boundaries.

How will you change? How will your daily life become richer? How might you feel more authentic in your relationships? Keep your vision at the forefront as you make the decisions.

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Your post-boundary-setting mantra

It’s totally normal to feel guilty, selfish, or embarrassed after setting a (completely valid) boundary.

Your boundary-setting muscle will take time to develop. Prepare a mantra to refer to after setting difficult boundaries with others. “I set boundaries to..."

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Prepare your well-being disclaimer

Start conversations about boundaries with a disclaimer to set the stage for a compassionate, permissive discussion.

Share your resolution to set boundaries. Explain why it’s important to you and how you believe it will benefit you.

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Name your feelings

Emotions like overwhelm, anger, and frustration may indicate that others are intruding on your personal time or space.

Instead of pushing the feelings away, try understanding them. It will allow you to set the right boundaries.

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4.91K reads

CURATED FROM

IDEAS CURATED BY

emil_ftw

Relationships need work. I study how to be good at it.

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Complaining or Encouraging

If your partner is taking on a new challenge or trying to solve a problem or fix something that’s broken, do you complain about their success and pace or do you offer encouragement and act as a cheerleader? 

Improve your partner’s chance of success by giving them space and positive encou...

Vent

Vent

Once you get home after work, give yourself a 15-minute window to let it out.

You should set this up in advance with your partner/family members/ friends but leave the time limit at 15 minutes. During that time, they have to simply listen and let you get it out. After that, yo...

Break 2: Social

This could involve grabbing coffee with a colleague (or FaceTiming over a cup of coffee if you’re working virtually), having lunch with your partner and kids if they’re around, or calling a friend or family member you want to catch up with.

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