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How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful

Listen with all of your senses

When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful

How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful

https://www.mindful.org/how-to-be-mindful-in-love/

mindful.org

10

Key Ideas

Really see each other

Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection. 

Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.

Reach out and touch someone

Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.

Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.

Be interested

We often fall into a habit of thinking we know someone so well that we can predict their behaviors and responses.

Instead, be open and interested in those close to you as if you just met them.

Make plans and keep them

Nothing breaks bonds like postponing or canceling commitments. 

Be honest with yourself and make or accept appointments you can commit to. Your relationships will flourish when you take the time to know others better.

Communicate your needs

Most of us have been vague about what we really need in the moment.

When you learn how to identify and express your needs clearly, you will be better understood and connect with the people in your life.

Be kind

People are drawn to kind people because they feel cared about and safe with them.

When we practice kindness towards others, we help to build positive connections.

Think first

We should make an effort to be thoughtful with our words and actions. Before speaking to someone, consider:

  • Is it True
  • Is it Helpful 
  • Am I the best person to say it
  • Is it Necessary 
  • Is it Kind

Practice “Just like me”

Humans are 99.9% the same. We all want to feel cared for, be understood and belong somewhere. 

When you see someone you think is different from you, say, "Just like me." It may foster a better sense of connection in your life.

Experience joy for others

Make a point to notice others taking care of themselves, experiencing success, or having a good day. Be happy for them. You can even tell them, "Good job" or "I am so happy for you." It can boost your own good feelings.

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Mindful Communication

Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications.

We can train ourselves to:

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Label How You Feel

Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to communicate. 

Mindful communication trains us to become aware of when we’ve stopped using our innate communication wisdom.

Defensive Reactions Zone

When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.

Signs you’re in the red light zone:

  • Our values shift to me-first.  We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important. 
  • Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs.
  • We feel alone and emotionally hungry. Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness. 
  • The sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies?
  • Suppressing these inner fears makes us even more rigid and out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts.

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Listen

To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering ...

Practise non-judgment

To mindfully converse and avoid conflicts, we need to try our best to refrain from judging the other person’s opinion, story or perspective. We should come to terms with the fact that there is no wrong or right — only different perceptions.

Show understanding

Show others that you understand them. For example, say “I understand” or “I see what you mean.” It gives them a sense of comfort that their words and feelings are relatable.

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Technology And Conversations

Your environment affects your personal relationships. Technologies like social media are making conversations harder and less engaging. But getting rid of it isn't necessarily the cure-all for most of our social interactions.

 If you have you've been feeling disconnected you can develop your conversational skills if you persist.

Become An Active Listener

Be engaged and listen to what they are saying. Show interest, ask questions and clarifications. This shows others that you care about what they are saying, and about them in the bigger picture.

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