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How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful

https://www.mindful.org/how-to-be-mindful-in-love/

mindful.org

How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful
Our guide to reflect on the relationships in your life, and open yourself up to the opportunity for love to grow. It shouldn't take a holiday like Valentine's Day to remind you to pause and reflect on the relationships you value in your life.

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Really see each other

Really see each other

Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection. 

Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.

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Listen with all of your senses

When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.

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Reach out and touch someone

Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.

Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.

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Be interested

Be interested

We often fall into a habit of thinking we know someone so well that we can predict their behaviors and responses.

Instead, be open and interested in those close to you as if you just met them.

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Make plans and keep them

Nothing breaks bonds like postponing or canceling commitments. 

Be honest with yourself and make or accept appointments you can commit to. Your relationships will flourish when you take the time to know others better.

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Communicate your needs

Most of us have been vague about what we really need in the moment.

When you learn how to identify and express your needs clearly, you will be better understood and connect with the people in your life.

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Be kind

People are drawn to kind people because they feel cared about and safe with them.

When we practice kindness towards others, we help to build positive connections.

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Think first

We should make an effort to be thoughtful with our words and actions. Before speaking to someone, consider:

  • Is it True
  • Is it Helpful 
  • Am I the best person to say it
  • Is it Necessary 
  • Is it Kind

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Practice “Just like me”

Humans are 99.9% the same. We all want to feel cared for, be understood and belong somewhere. 

When you see someone you think is different from you, say, "Just like me." It may foster a better sense of connection in your life.

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Experience joy for others

Experience joy for others

Make a point to notice others taking care of themselves, experiencing success, or having a good day. Be happy for them. You can even tell them, "Good job" or "I am so happy for you." It can boost your own good feelings.

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Mindful Communication

Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications.

We can train ourselves to:

  • recognize when the channel...

Label How You Feel

Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to communicate. 

Mindful communication trains us to become aware of when we’ve stopped using our innate communication wisdom.

Defensive Reactions Zone

When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.

Signs you’re in the red light zone:

  • Our values shift to me-first.  We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important. 
  • Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs.
  • We feel alone and emotionally hungry. Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness. 
  • The sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies?
  • Suppressing these inner fears makes us even more rigid and out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts.

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Interdependence

Being dependent on another person can be unhealthy. Independence, taken to an extreme, can actually get in the way of us being able to connect emotionally with others in a meaningful way.&nbs...

Codependency

A codependent person tends to rely heavily on others for their sense of self and well-being. There is an enmeshed sense of responsibility to another person to meet their needs and/or for their partner to meet all of their needs to feel okay about who they are.

Why Interdependence Is Healthy

Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways.

Moving To A New Place

Moving To A New Place

Moving is a great way to open up one’s mind and practice focusing one’s attention without the constant thought patterns.

Practising mindfulness frees our mind from thoughts about the old r...

Thinking of A New Beginning

As you unpack your stuff, use this golden chance to keep only the essential stuff and completely declutter your new home. Don’t hold stuff that keeps you tied to the past.

Do not be overwhelmed with the piled up work. Practice deep breathing, reflecting on the present moment and gratitude.