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How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful
Experience joy for others
Make a point to notice others taking care of themselves, experiencing success, or having a good day. Be happy for them. You can even tell them, "Good job" or "I am so happy for you." It can boost your own good feelings.
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Key Ideas
Really see each other
Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection.
Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.
Listen with all of your senses
When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.
Reach out and touch someone
Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.
Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.
Be interested
We often fall into a habit of thinking we know someone so well that we can predict their behaviors and responses.
Instead, be open and interested in those close to you as if you just met them.
Make plans and keep them
Nothing breaks bonds like postponing or canceling commitments.
Be honest with yourself and make or accept appointments you can commit to. Your relationships will flourish when you take the time to know others better.
Communicate your needs
Most of us have been vague about what we really need in the moment.
When you learn how to identify and express your needs clearly, you will be better understood and connect with the people in your life.
Be kind
People are drawn to kind people because they feel cared about and safe with them.
When we practice kindness towards others, we help to build positive connections.
Think first
We should make an effort to be thoughtful with our words and actions. Before speaking to someone, consider:
- Is it True
- Is it Helpful
- Am I the best person to say it
- Is it Necessary
- Is it Kind
Practice “Just like me”
Humans are 99.9% the same. We all want to feel cared for, be understood and belong somewhere.
When you see someone you think is different from you, say, "Just like me." It may foster a better sense of connection in your life.
Experience joy for others
Make a point to notice others taking care of themselves, experiencing success, or having a good day. Be happy for them. You can even tell them, "Good job" or "I am so happy for you." It can boost your own good feelings.
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Key Ideas
Mindful Communication
Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications.
We can train ourselves to:
- recognize when the channel...
Label How You Feel
Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to communicate.
Mindful communication trains us to become aware of when we’ve stopped using our innate communication wisdom.
Defensive Reactions Zone
When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.
Signs you’re in the red light zone:
- Our values shift to me-first. We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important.
- Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs.
- We feel alone and emotionally hungry. Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness.
- The sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies?
- Suppressing these inner fears makes us even more rigid and out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts.
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Key Ideas
Adopt GTD Methodology in Email
think of every email you get as either something you need to take action on, track, or refer to later.
Every time you open a conversation, decide right away what to do with it. D...
Create an Email Productivity System
There’s no “definitive” system. The best framework is the one that works for you. Ideally, it should model your work style, supporting the way you work. Bonus points if it’s low-maintenance, fast to set up, and adaptable as your work changes.
Some people like to use folders with specific actions (do, delegate, reply), while others prefer the deadline-driven approach (today, tomorrow, next week).
Power Up Your Email with Plugins
Some examples:
- Undo Send: for when you accidentally press the send button.
- Canned Responses: create a template that you can reuse with canned responses.
- Send and Archive: Automatically archive an email after replying to it using the send and archive button.
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Mindfulness at work
Means being consciously present in what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, as well as managing your mental and emotional state.
If you’re writing a report, mindfulness requires...
1 min/session
That’s the minimum required for a mini-mediation.
Just focus on your sense. You don’t need to close your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down.
Use Mindful Reminders
You can use interruptions as hooks to make you more mindful.
Every time your phone rings, take a mindful breath. Every time you hear the ping of a text message, pause to be mindful of your surroundings rather than immediately reacting by checking the message.
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