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The Anatomy of Charisma
The awestruck effect
Charismatic leaders put us in awe.
We reach a level of admiration so high, that we tend to hold back our emotions in order to show our respect for them, to acknowledge their superior status.
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Key Ideas
Charisma is a skill
Charisma, defined as that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you’re born with (you either have it or you don’t).
But the truth is that charisma is a s...
Charismatic behaviors
There are 3 keys to being charismatic:
- you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others.
- you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others.
- you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you.
Being memorable
... by making a graceful exit. Offer the other person something of value before you go:
- Information: an article, book, or web site you think might be of use to them.
- A connection: someone they ought to meet, whom you know and can introduce them to.
- Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak.
- Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for
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Key Ideas
Learning To Be Charismatic
Charisma is about what you say and do as opposed to who you really are as a person. Your subconscious, social cues, physical expression, and the way you treat others all play a part in developin...
Presence As A Charisma Tool
Presence is necessary for charisma and it’s all about being truly engaged with others and showing them that they have your complete attention. Without presence, you can come across as just wanting to show off.
Shut down your ego, and pay attention to and focus on every word that others say.
Develop A Sense Of Confidence
People like confident individuals, even if their other qualities are less attractive. Developing confidence is a balancing act as you don't want to be arrogant, but you also don't want to come across as timid or scared.
Exercising regularly, dressing in clothes that make you feel good, and talking about the things you understand well can help you build and maintain confidence.
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Key Ideas
Be A Good listener
You can’t remember everything, but at least remember people’s names. Repeating their names during the conversation is a good memory reinforcement. Also, listen with interest, pay attentio...
Tell Great Stories
Keep yourself informed and speak with conviction. Use words like “I am sure” vs. tentative words like “I think, I hope and I feel.” Use humor, even if it is self-deprecating.
Don’t: Confuse humor with bad joke telling. And don’t overdo on the self-deprecation to the point you push yourself out of the conversation that it takes away from who you are.
Use Body Language
Be open, approachable, gracious and graceful. Walk up to someone, smile, make eye contact, shake hands. Introduce yourself by saying your name.
Don’t: Overdo it. When you smile, be authentic. If your smile is not in your eyes, people will know you're faking it.