We live in a culture that likes idealism. We notice so much wrong with others, ourselves, the way things are. Little things such as the sound of a car horn or a lost set of keys remind us that idealism is impossible. Often, anger makes a lot of sense. Certain types of anger can be very useful as a source of insight when we've been wronged, when things are going poorly, when we want change. However, anger can also be a source of foolishness, miscalculation, regret, resentment, and detachment.

The good and bad of anger

Psychologist Magda Arnold developed the appraisal theory. It states that our emotional responses are mostly created by our conscious evaluations of events - how we view, interpret, and label stimuli. For example, if we believe cats are sweet and harmless, holding a particular cat will be a favourable emotional experience. But someone who believes cats threatening or devious, will likely have a negative experience. The responses are very different to the same stimulus.

Appraisal theory

Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot or will not exercise this kind of choice in ... life, you will be totally hosed.

When we are angered frequently or remain angered for long periods, there is an opportunity to switch our mental filter in favour of better, more productive experiences. For the stoics, events in the world are objective and neutral. Our emotional experiences are the product of the stories we tell ourselves. It can't hurt you unless you interpret what's happening as harmful. If we realise that the world has not singled us out, most people are trying their best, that ignorance is more often the reason than malice, we can realise that the situation is not worthy of being angry about.

Practical use of the appraisal theory

We can be wronged in unjust ways, such as being targeted,  and in these cases, anger can be used to motivate us to stand up and defend ourselves. But, more often we are wronged in a way where anger will not help to correct or solve it. When we try to resist and reject any sort of softer acceptance and sadness in response to this, we can become hardened with a sort of brute and frequent anger and become numb and unfeeling.

Becoming hardened is unhelpful

We should not live an agreeable life in which our anger is always denied of its expression. But when anger comes from a place that isn't angry about the thing we seem to be angry about, the anger is a liability, not an asset.  We should not think that we have personally been made victim by the world. When we are angry, all of this sounds nonsensical or impossible, but it is then that these ideas matter so much.

Controlling unhelpful anger

Thanks to Acorns for sponsoring! Click my link https://get.acorns.com/PursuitofWonder to get a $10 bonus investment when you sign up. T&C’s apply. There are so many good reasons to be angry, but there are so few good uses. In this video, we explore the reasons for frequent anger as well as how to potentially be it less through psychology and philosophy. Pursuit of Wonder books available here: Notes from the End of Everything: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D4VSD88 The Hidden Story of Every Person: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B095L8LP33 Guided writing journal here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K1ZVMM8 (Also available to more international locations here: https://pursuitofwonder.com/store) Important Risk Disclosures: Investing involves risk including the loss of principal. Services offered by Acorns Advisers, LLC (“Acorns”), an SEC-registered investment advisor. Brokerage services are provided to clients of Acorns by Acorns Securities, LLC, an SEC-registered broker-dealer and member FINRA/SIPC. Please consider your objectives, risk tolerance, and Acorns’ fees before investing. https://www.finra.org/#/ https://www.sipc.org Special thank you to our very generous Patreon supporters: OnlineBookClub.org Zake Jajac Alan Stein Zinzan Heather Liu Siddharth Kothari Stanley Chan Dave Portnoy Jaad Van der Wee Justin Redenbaugh Fathy Abdalla Christian Villanueva George Leontowicz Kelly J. Rose Asael Ramirez Terry Gilmour Follow Pursuit of Wonder on: Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/pursuitofwonder Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/PursuitOfWonder

mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

videos

Videos

Thanks to Acorns for sponsoring! Click my link https://get.acorns.com/PursuitofWonder to get a $10 bonus investment when you sign up. T&C’s apply.

There are so many good reasons to be angry, but there are so few good uses. In this video, we explore the reasons for frequent anger as well as how to potentially be it less through psychology and philosophy. 

Pursuit of Wonder books available here: 
Notes from the End of Everything: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D4VSD88
The Hidden Story of Every Person: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B095L8LP33
Guided writing journal here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K1ZVMM8
(Also available to more international locations here: https://pursuitofwonder.com/store)

Important Risk Disclosures: Investing involves risk including the loss of principal. Services offered by Acorns Advisers, LLC (“Acorns”), an SEC-registered investment advisor. Brokerage services are provided to clients of Acorns by Acorns Securities, LLC, an SEC-registered broker-dealer and member FINRA/SIPC. Please consider your objectives, risk tolerance, and Acorns’ fees before investing. https://www.finra.org/#/ https://www.sipc.org

Special thank you to our very generous Patreon supporters: 
OnlineBookClub.org
Zake Jajac
Alan Stein
Zinzan
Heather Liu
Siddharth Kothari
Stanley Chan
Dave Portnoy
Jaad Van der Wee
Justin Redenbaugh
Fathy Abdalla
Christian Villanueva
George Leontowicz
Kelly J. Rose
Asael Ramirez
Terry Gilmour

Follow Pursuit of Wonder on:
Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/pursuitofwonder
Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/PursuitOfWonder

Content that makes you curious, inspired, and feel good. 

Wonder is the feeling of curiosity and/or appreciation inspired by something that is beautiful or unfamiliar.  At Pursuit of Wonder, we produce content with the goal of creating that feeling. 

We cover a wide range of topics related to philosophy, science, literature, emotional and social well-being, and more using a variety of formats like video essays, short stories, guided experiences, and much more. 

For inquiries, email at: pursuit.wonder.media@gmail.com

The good and bad of anger

Similar ideas to The good and bad of anger

Anger and Aggression

The Flavors of Anger

The good and the bad of the social learning