Life isn’t fair - Deepstash

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The problem isn't that life is unfair - it's your broken idea of fairness

Life isn’t fair

Life would not work if it were "fair" to everyone. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them were evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously.

Most of us are so blinded by how we think the world should work that we fail to see how it does work. You can only unlock your potential when you face reality.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Belonging To A group

Quickest way to add meaning to your life is to see your group of people more often. 

Not part of a group? Join one. No groups to join? Start one. It’s as easy as texting people to get together regularly around a common interest.

Give Your Work A Purpose

It is less about what you do and more about how you see what you do.

Qualities a purpose needs:

  • It's a stable and far-reaching goal. You need something that motivates you and that you can organize your actions around.
  • It involves a contribution to the world. It makes a difference in the lives of people who don’t happen to be you.
Craft Your Story

You have a story you tell yourself about your life — whether you realize it or not.

A trend in the stories that people with meaningful lives tell themselves -  redemption stories: the tellers move from suffering to salvation — they experience a negative event followed by a positive event that resulted from the negative event and therefore gives their suffering some meaning.

Good health and positive emotions

We spend a fortune on medical care but we don't get the health results we desire.

It is probably because we're overly focused on medical care, but don't invest in our social world the way we could. We need to have a broader understanding of health, that involves day-to-day interactions.

High-value health care

There are low-cost interventions that are community-based that can have a significant impact on people's health down the road.

We need to be gentle on new mothers and families and provide support to help buffer the stresses that may arise. It is something every person who's listening can do something about.

Loving actions

They actually change our physiology. In one study, groups of rabbits were given a high-fat diet to establish the effects on heart health.

One group of rabbits did particularly well. The researchers looked around and discovered that one particular researcher was petting the one group of rabbits while feeding them. She was giving them love and kindness.

Avoid tension and build rapport
Avoid tension and build rapport

This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot.  If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off. 

It's important to use empathy, but don’t get too friendly. Take a careful balance between making someone like you and asserting your authority.

Focus on collaboration

To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it. 

When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.

Show your work

In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance. 

When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.