Learned Helplessness

The trait of perfectionism constantly makes a person judge, compare and criticize suboptimal decisions or mistakes in any aspect of the daily routine.

A person starts having mental difficulties, striving to do everything the perfect way, but falling short eventually.

Perfectionism is a voice in our head, constantly fed by the media and society's ideals, coaxing us into doing things in the best way, to get the desired results. 

It is useful in its purpose but in extremities can have negative effects on the body and mind.

The 3 steps to encourage a change in mindset:

1. Observe your mindset.
2. Challenge your beliefs
3.  Build a “growth” muscle.

When we battle with unsolvable problems, we start to question our abilities. This creates feelings of helplessness that undermine our ability to succeed.

While it is natural to feel demoralized and pessimistic, you have to address your negative feelings so they don't interfere in your efforts to find work. To overcome your negative emotions, you have to regain a sense of control.

When you've lost your job and want to find a new one, start with the skills that you know you have. For instance, a restaurant host will have people skills, communication skills, the ability to multi-task, and problem solve.

Recording all your skill sets will remind you what you have to offer an employer. It will help you identify potential roles to which you might be suited.

"Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. Every great idea I’ve ever had grew out of work itself.”

Most people's approach to work motivation goes like this: they wait to be inspired, then they get to work.

But successful people don’t sit around and wait for inspiration. They just show up and get to work.

Schools that are practicing 'tracking' where they group students based on their test scores and abilities are hampering their development. They mistakenly think that the brain is fixed and these students are 'learning disabled' for life.

Every time we learn something, the brain is forming, strengthening and connecting neural pathways, at any age. We never stop learning, but stigmas and wrong beliefs at an early age impact the learning process.

Just giving the right answer in a test isn't enough. The brain works and learns better when solving difficult problems, absorbing it for a lifetime. If teachers make it all right to fail and provide students with the space to make mistakes, it can be incredibly freeing.

Technology companies work hard to create products that bring convenience and delight. In turn, they benefit when we use these technologies more.

Our willing acceptance of distracting apps and our culture of constant busyness shows how normal these things have become. So, feeling busy and distracted is not your fault. However, you can take up the responsibility to change the defaults of distraction and busyness.

The smartphone is the simplest and most effective way to reclaim your time and attention.

In contrast to hacks like disabling notifications, removing apps cuts the distraction where it starts. The app is still available, and we can still use it and check email and read the news, but we can do it on our terms.

Studies on reinforcement revealed that the best way for us to learn complex behaviors is via continuous reinforcement, in which the desired behavior is rewarded every time it’s performed. Consistency and timing are the keys.

Nonetheless, some argue that intermittent reinforcement is the most efficient way to maintain an already learnt behavior. It consists of giving reinforcement only some of the times that the desired behavior occurs.

• Rewarding the behavior immediately may take time away from the behavior’s continuation.
• It’s cheaper not to reward every instance of a desired behavior.
• By making the rewards unpredictable, you trigger excitement and thus get an increase in response without increasing the amount of reinforcement.
• Since the person is already adapted to not always being rewarded, they take longer to stopping the behavior when reinforcement is removed.

Don’t pick goals where the stakes are low. Failing in a safe zone is just a clever way of holding yourself back.

If you fail inside your comfort zone, it's not really a failure, it's just maintaining the status quo. If you never feel uncomfortable, then you're never trying anything new.

Maybe you'll succeed. Maybe you'll fail. For the most part, nobody cares one way or the other.

The world is big and you are small, and that means you can chase your dreams with little worry about what people think.

A culture created in a two-way relationship or a small group is positive and open because it allows for differences to exist, which are not allowed by large groups in which cultures are attached to your identity.

Creating the right kind of culture organically is the magic of a strong relationship, something that is difficult in large groups with a shared ideology.

The idea of a complete and fulfilling life is always related to personal relationships. Happiness, in a way, is the other person. Happiness is our connections, and the relationships we foster, which create and shape us.

It's a lost art to cultivate personal relationships without agenda or motive, just connecting and trying to understand and relate to different people.