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Set actionable boundaries

Set actionable boundaries

If putting down boundaries feels aggressive or uncomfortable for you, consider this scenario: Your boss is constantly piling work on your desk without checking in on whether you can take more projects.

An aggressive response would be blowing up at your boss in a meeting or demanding that someone else do the work.

An assertive response, on the other hand, would be scheduling a meeting with your boss to discuss a new system for assigning work, or coming up with ways to better delegate responsibilities.


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Plan your response ahead of time

Plan your response ahead of time

Find yourself automatically saying yes to things without thinking about it? If you tend to do this, Phelan recommends having some go-to phrases when you’re faced with a request or invitation you aren’t that into.


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Rehearse with someone you know and trust

Rehearse with someone you know and trust

If you have a big issue you’re trying to address, consider role-playing with a trusted friend by practicing different conversation styles. Write it down, then say what you want to say aloud.

Remember to ask for feedback about how clear you’re coming across, and how the other person might se...


203 reads

Get outside help

Get outside help

If you’re finding it hard to practice being more assertive, consider talking things out with a qualified therapist for additional support. Underlying factors, including stress and anxiety, can make it particularly hard to as...


205 reads

Use positive self-talk

Use positive self-talk

It’s hard to practice being assertive when you’re in the moment. That’s why Rose recommends mentally pumping up yourself with positive self-talk .

It might sound corny, but if you’re about to have a conversation where y...


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Assess your communication style

Assess your communication style

The first step toward becoming more assertive is taking inventory of how you voice your thoughts and feelings. Do you use a passive or aggressive communication style?


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Don’t let guilt get in the way

Don’t let guilt get in the way

If you find yourself feeling guilty when you try to assert yourself, keep in mind that saying no to a request doesn’t mean you’re rejecting the person .


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Start small

Start small

If all of this sounds a bit daunting, consider starting with some small exercises to help you practice being more assertive in low-risk situations.


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Believe in your worth

Believe in your worth

Without a healthy and balanced sense of self-worth, you’ll likely keep accepting less from others, or end up giving more than you receive.

“If you don’t believe in yourself, it’ll be hard for someone else to believe in you or give you want you want,” Rose says.


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Embody an assertive stance

Embody an assertive stance

Communication isn’t just verbal. Before going into a stressful situation or a difficult conversation, Rose recommends adopting an assertive body stance that makes you feel more confident and powerful.

What does that look like? Stand up straight, rolling your shoulders back. Maintain regular...


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Take time to breathe

Take time to breathe

If your heart starts racing at the mere thought of placing a boundary, take a moment to breathe deeply, especially if you feel aggression starting to take over.

“Breathing will calm the brain and the body and help ground yourself, making it easier to come back to your intentions,” Rose adds...


347 reads




🧠 🤖 Tech and AI Enthusiast

Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills. Recognize and learn assertive behavior and communication. Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.


Set Boundaries

Set Boundaries

  • A critical part of carving out time for yourself is setting boundaries. Brainstorm where you can cut back on responsibilities and commitments in your daily life, and then act accordingly.
  • When it comes to setting boundaries or seeking special accommodations at work, many employers ar...

Set boundaries in regards to your screen time

Whenever you feel like you are spending way too much time on your screen, consider setting clear boundaries: it is not the same to work and to just waste your time by watching things that might even end up increasing your anxiety.

Therefore, try using a separate device for work and person...

Setting healthy boundaries

Set your personal boundaries, so you have dedicated time to take care of yourself, your family or household, and your professional responsibilities. You won't be any good to your family if you regularly jump up to respond to work.

The key to success is deciding on expectat...

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